Friday, February 29, 2008
Always plan spring break in pencil
| In December, I started fleshing out my plans for my Spring Break. Basically I had a choice of 4 destinations: Jacksonville, FL; Macon, GA; Conyers, GA; or Pennsylvania. I opted to do a PA trip. Stopping off at my brothers in DC on the way up, then following Emily's Toybox around for 3 or 4 concerts in eastern PA. Once they released their March schedule I had my plans set. I'd be hitting Shippensburg, State College, Hershey, Northampton, Pennsberg, and King of Prussia, PA. Only concerts in State College, Northampton, and Pennsberg. The other three were special places I wanted to get by someday. (I suspect only one or two people reading this will know why.) I was nervous about the weather up north, but figured I'd press forward anyway. I started locating hotels and getting driving directions. Lets call this Plan A. Then the IRS decided they wanted to be my proctologist and everything changed. Apparently the state of Georgia is rather PO'd that I left. By my calculations, NC owed me $32, I owed the feds $750, and I owed GA $1275. That is not a typo. Plan B: Sit at home and sell everything not nailed down on Ebay to pay my taxes. Then I happened to find out that my parents would be doing some interesting things for Spring Break and those would be a heck of a lot cheaper than a huge trip to PA. After all, family trips are free! (Well, free for me. If you come along, we may charge you a cover fee.) Plan C: The first weekend (starting today actually) a trip to my parents, where we'll be meeting up with 2 of my aunts and uncles for the weekend. We'll be doing some in state travel to visit several family related sites. Then the last weekend of Spring Break we'd be going to visit my brother and his family up in DC. Then I get an email that my father's plans up on Gettysburg, PA have changed and he wont be leaving til late Sunday or Monday. Plan D: I go visit my parents the first part of spring break as in Plan C, but spend the rest of spring break at home, possibly selling everything I own on Ebay to pay my taxes. Then I finally break down and go get my taxes done by a professional. I hope I don't go to jail. Now instead of me owing Uncle Sam $750, I only owe them $450. NC now owes me $52, but the real kicker is that instead of owing GA over $1200, they now owe me $25. Plan E: It's my spring break, I own a truck, and I'm over 18. I can do anything I want. So today I'm going to my parents, as in plans C and D, then next week I am going to drive myself up to DC and drive back whenever I want to. This is where things currently stand. I have had one small addition, but it won't change Plan E. On Monday morning I have been invited by the librarian of a local elementary school to come read a book to some children. Of course I'll be taking "The Big Orange Splot" again. Me and Mr. Plumbean will reunite to educate and entertain children. I am contemplating the purchase of a huge fake handlebar mustache for my Plumbean impersonations. Hopefully there will be a few pictures. If I wear the fake moustache there will be no pictures. Anyway, I am sorry there are no links in this post. It certainly deserves a few. I may come back later and edit this post to put some in. But for right now I am trying to get out the door before plans have a chance to change again! Until I can get back to a working Internet connection (Monday?) I hope you have a great spring break! Oh...... sorry!  |
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Spring Break
| I took 5 years to get my undergraduate degrees. I would have stayed longer, but apparently all scholarships will run out, eventually. I immediately went from undergrad at Mercer U to graduate school at Mercer. My first year of grad school I was also a graduate teaching assistant to help cover tuition. Sadly, after that I had to go get "a real job" because apparently the government expects you to repay all that money they gave you to go to school. So basically I was a full time student at Mercer for six straight years. When I was working at my first real job at The Bibb Company, I still had lots of friends enrolled at Mercer. It was about this time of year back in 1996 that I suddenly realized what's wrong with "a real job." My friends Halle and Heather asked me one afternoon: Being a good sport, I packed them each "Spring Break Survival Kits" and left them outside their apartment doors to find the next morning as they left for Myrtle Beach. Included were their favorite bags of chips, their favorite six pack of sodas, and various other fun stuff. Then I went to work. I got a taste of the good life 3 or 4 years later when I was back teaching at Mercer, but it again didn't last. I was forced back into "the real world" of teaching on an Air Force base. Every day. Year round. Forever. (Well, 5 years.) But not this year, my friends. No, tonight, I am proud to say, it's Spring Break! I am too old to go party my butt off at Panama City beach or Daytona or where ever college kids go these days, but that won't stop me from enjoying the break. Stop back tomorrow morning (early) as I review my plans for the coming week. I say come back tomorrow, because the way things have been going lately, plans will change two or three times between now and then. But until tomorrow, and in the words of Halle and Heather, I have but one question: |
Labels: Mercer
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Yo! Congress!
| I feel I must release the following statement, based on recent events up in Washington, DC, and Brian's latest blog/video: Add to My Profile | More Videos At no time during my 17 year run of Krystal Thursdays and subsequent induction into the Krystal Lover's Hall of Fame did I ever, knowingly, take any form of performance enhancing drugs. I did not take HGH, steroids, or testosterone. Anyone claiming they injected me with anything other than a flu shot (or one tetanus shot around 1990) is lying. Hopefully this will clear up any confusion that Congress may have with my performance over the past decade and a half. I would offer the following advice for major league baseball and all sports, though. Many years ago, Saturday Night Live did a skit on the All Drug Olympics. (Go quick, as NBC shuts down videos of their skits quick due to copyrights!) The gist of the skit is that participants are allowed and encouraged to use any and all drugs they want to. While I do not condone drug use, I think there's a solution when it comes to sports. We can have one "Clean" league and one "All Drug" league. They will use the same rules, but have separate record books. There will be no hall of fame for the "All Drug League," but perhaps a hall of shame. Players can pick which league they want to be in, however, once you have played in the All Drug League you can NEVER play in the clean league again. It's a one way thing. If you are busted doing drugs in the clean league you are also banned from BOTH leagues forever. While it may appear that the All Drug Leagues would promote drugs and make kids want to do drugs to get freakishly strong, the players in that league must disclose everything they use. These will be displayed on the TV screen and the matrix boards whenever the player is on screen. Then over the years we can all watch as their reproductive organs fall off, their head swells to 3 times normal size, and they bloat up like the Michelin man and can't put their arms down by their sides anymore. I suspect that alone will be warning enough to kids not to do drugs. Watching a guy throw a 150 mph fastball would be impressive. Knowing he'll be dead before he's 25 sort of puts a new perspective on it. The drug companies will certainly buy advertising on the All Drug games, and hopefully shy away from the clean league. Thus I won't have to see Bob and his wife the dirty dirty whore, or hear commercials that spend more time telling you the bad things the drug will do to you than the benefits you'll get. We can run all sorts of PSA ads about drug addiction and prevention. The profits fro the All Drug games can be used to fund rehab and treatment centers for those who cannot afford it themselves. This may or may not be the best solution out there but it's better than what we have now. I welcome your ideas. But here's the real issue. Why are my Congressmen wasting their time and my tax money on this? I fail to see anywhere in the Constitution that Congress should be governing how major league sports are run. If the drugs are not outright illegal then why is Congress involved? If the drugs ARE illegal it seems to me that's the area of law enforcement and the judicial system, not Congress. Of course we know why Congress is doing this. Ever since Congress went against the wishes of 80% of the voting public and tried to give us horrible immigration legislation their approval rating has gone in the toilet. Teens and single digits and no signs of improving. So they decide to hunt down pro athletes who may or may not have taken legal drugs, claiming all the while it is for "the children." Anyone see any kids in the hearings? The only kids who might be home to see it are too young to know what they're talking about, and the kids most at risk are in school and missed the whole thing anyway. Since that is clearly not working Congress has now decided to give us back some of our money. Which is of course they hope will make us forget how worthless they have all been once we step in the election booth this year. It's election insurance for the incumbents. Keep in mind the check they are sending you is your money, not theirs. They are attempting to buy your vote with your own money. Think about that this April 15th. I think Brian is absolutely correct when he says Major League Baseball did nothing about the drugs simply to boost attendance. (We call it BITS: Buts In The Seats.) So now Congress is trying to drug us (with money) to help keep their butts in their seats. Yo! Congress! If you want better approval numbers why not actually fix a current problem or two instead of trying to find or invent new ones? Perhaps wrap up one or two of the various wars we're involved in. Maybe fix health care. Make sure there will be social security when I turn 65. Pass immigration legislation that fixes the problem instead of encouraging it. As my father is fond of saying: Why not make yourself useful, for a change?  |
Labels: KLHOF
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Don't flip off the hippo!
It's 1973. You're a kid. You live in a house with light switches. What one thing will make or break your room decor? What one thing could make you want to turn your lights on and off all day? What does every child in America need in their room?? Hippo Light Switch Covers!! I remember when I was about 4 or 5. My brother and I shared a bedroom. We also had light switch covers. Ours were not sturdy reusable cardboard, though. Ours were adhesive, requiring you to throw away the switch cover when you move. But ours glowed in the dark! I don't recall what they said, but I seem to recall it was something conservation minded, reminding us to turn off the lights when we leave. When I found this I got to thinking I hadn't seen a light switch cover in decades. I wondered if they were still made. Apparently, since I don't have kids, I have never been to that section of Target. They have everything! Cars, Barbie, Superheroes. I think I am now jealous. Kids always get the coolest things. Why don't they make light switch (and electrical outlet) covers for adults? Maybe I want to have Thomas Edison on my light switch telling me "Electricity Rocks!" Maybe a big Mr. T telling "Don't to be a fool! Turn off the lights!" And perhaps a Suze Orman cover telling me "Wasting electricity is expensive!" On closer inspection, you'll notice these covers are slightly convex, which leads me to believe the previous owner failed to follow the instructions clearly printed on the back. Probably because the instructions are on the back and you can't see them while you are installing it. WARNING:Since most people consider me an adult, I felt I was not breaking the Krystal Kritter rules by installing it myself. I think it really livens up the place, just as you would expect a hippo to do.  |
Thursday, February 21, 2008
DIY Pups, Part 2
| Since yesterday's attempt at Chili Cheese Pups was a total let down, I simply had to try and redeem myself. So here's my second version. We must put Lunchables behind us and move on. While I was at the store buying the lunchables I happened to see something else in the prepackaged meat case:  The difference between the lunchables and these new dogs was that the lunchables gave you buns. Dry, cold, hard, tasteless buns, but at least you got some. I had no brilliant ideas so I decided I'd just use regular buns and cut them in half.  I think my first real mistake was that I kept with the Lunchables method of heating the dogs up. Place dog in bun, then in the microwave. I opted not to waste 4 paper towels this time and just decided they'd have to tough it out in the nuclear storm. In hindsight, I feel that these will never reach true Chili Pup quality as long as a microwave is involved. The dogs need to be boiled (or steamed?) and the buns need to be steamed, just like the real thing. Then you wont have dry buns. Dry hot dog buns I mean. You may still have dry buns, but that's a medical condition and you should consult your doctor for an ointment or something.  A bit more subtle was the bun to dog ratio. Since these were full side hot dog buns I think they may have more bread than is required. Perhaps I need to carve out a small slice from the middle of the bun prior to assembly? I am quite certain I will have to go back to Krystal and inspect some pups very closely soon. I also need to test the mini cheese hot dogs, just to see how they are. Now that I feel confident in my goal of recreating a chili pup, the final step is a Corn Pup. Of "The Big Four" the corn pup is my least favorite. But it deserves a shot. I have seen they sell frozen mini corn dogs at the store, but they don't have a stick. Obviously I could just shove a stick in them and push forward, but I think I may attempt to actually make real corn dogs from scratch. Alton Brown has a corn dog recipe but in typical AB fashion his goal is perfect taste, no matter what. By the time I got done prepping the ingredients, I believe my taste for corn pups would have passed. No, there must be an easier way. And I will find it. (Yes that's my obligatory dog joke.) |
Labels: Cheese, Chili, Pups, Recipe
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
DIY Pups, Part 1
Recently I had a hankering for some Chili Cheese Pups. Sadly, I'm stuck in Burgatory and can't drive down the street and grab some. Slowly the desire kept growing until I could stand it no longer. I decided that if I couldn't go GET some pups I'd simply have to MAKE some pups. In today's post I will be showing you how NOT to do it. Tomorrow I'll show you a better (though still not perfect) way to pup yourself up at home. Let's start with a quick survey. I remember the early days of Lunchables when all you got was like 3 or 4 crackers, and 3 or 4 round slices of cheese and ham. I think they also included a napkin. How thoughtful. I always knew over the years they'd really "beefed up" the product line (pun intended) but I never paid much attention. Who knew they had tacos, hamburgers, and hot dogs? You'll notice in the box above there is a tiny TINY window thru which you can see the "product." Well sort of. It's not until you get it home and rip it open you realize what you've gotten yourself into:  I unpack and unwrap everything and do my best at Mise en place. It is really quite amazing how much they can squeeze into that little box. I was waiting for a circus full of clowns to come cartwheeling out at some point.  FUN TO EAT...NO NEED TO HEAT!: Place Hot Dogs in Buns; top with Ketchup and Mustard. Enjoy! TO HEAT & EAT: Place Hot Dogs in Buns; wrap each in a paper towel. Microwave 3 hot dogs on HIGH 25 sec.; let stand 30 sec. Top with Ketchup and Mustard. NOTE: Hot dogs will be HOT.For starters, the idea of eating these things cold make me almost hurl immediately. Second, I had to pause for a moment and try and figure out if they had a 4 year old type this up. CAN WE Get A Referee's RULING on the abuse Of The shift KEY? Wrap EACH dog in a paper towel? It's not enough to have the big clunky waste of the cardboard box AND the plastic container, AND the shrink wrap for the buns, AND the the Capri Sun, AND the smaller packets, now I had to also waste a few paper towels? Obviously Oscar doesn't care about the environment much. Knowing that "Ketchup and Mustard" wouldn't be enough, I had planned ahead. I had a small onion diced very fine, a can of chili (no beans) warming on the stove, and shredded cheddar cheese at the ready. I dutifully wrapped my dogs and nuked my dogs.    I also got a free pack of "Mystery Flavor" Air Heads candy. It's still sitting on the counter. Mystery Flavor foods always make me a bit nervous. What if it tastes like butt? I mean I was in a fraternity. I've seen plenty of "Guess what this tastes like" stunts in my lifetime. I also wonder if "the new guy" was working in the flavoring portion of the production line, and the boss wasn't supervising very closely. The new guy says "Oops!" and suddenly they're selling "Mystery Flavor" Airheads. What other industry can get away with this? Come on down to Big Ed's Cars where you can buy a Mystery Car for $22,000! After you buy it and drive it you can try and guess what it is! If you guess right, congrats! If you guess wrong, who cares, cause you still own it either way! Bottom line: Put the lunchables back on the shelf! If your kids are pestering you for Lunchables Hot Dogs, you may want to put them in counseling. Or send them to school with a bag full of dirt. It's got to be better tasting. (and more nutritious!) Come back tomorrow for an imporved version of Do It Yourself Chili Cheese Pups.  |
Labels: Cheese, Chili, Onions, Pups
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Truth or Koincidences
| The new Chocolate Cherry MilkQuake has caused a couple of people to ask me if I had anything to do with it. I did "invent" the Chocolate Covered Strawberry MilkQuake on January 3rd. Technically I'd had the idea since back in October. However, I'd only told one or two people prior to actually making it, and none of those people work for Krystal. I know that some of the folks up at Krystal HQ read this blog. I don't know how many or how often, so I am fairly certain they read about it the same time you did. But let's face it, it's not really an Earth shattering discovery. I don't know the inner workings of the food industry, but I can only imagine the time line from initial idea to actually arriving in stores is longer than 6 weeks. Now if Krystal does want to get adventurous with their MilkQuakes, I'm here for ya, baby. For example: But there's even more koincidences you don't know about. Three weeks ago, more or less, I went to Just Because Chocolates around the corner for several reasons. I wanted to see if they had any good ideas on what to do with Dulce de Leche, but instead they'd never heard of it, so I gave them the recipe. I asked them about chocolate covered bacon, and as expected, they wrinkled their noses. I also wanted to inquire about buying some chocolate covered cherries for Courtney. Yes. Chocolate Covered Cherries. Three weeks ago. I had been thinking about making them myself, but they seemed to be very complicated and time consuming and I didn't have that much time. I decided I needed outside help on this one. Just Because has chocolate covered cherries. And LOTS of other delicious stuff. In fact they do their cherries two different ways. One they dip in chocolate and another they soak in brandy for a few weeks before they dip them in chocolate. I bought 2 pounds of the brandy soaked cherries to send to Courtney. It's at this point Courtney is now wondering where that other half a pound went. I'm not telling!    |
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Chocolate Cherries and pups on the beach
Yesterday's mission was to go get a Chocolate Cover Cherry Milkquake. I swapped out the CD in the changer in the truck, grabbed some reading materials (chapter 3 from my programming and logic textbook) and headed south. Two hours later I had arrived at Krystal in Murrell's Inlet, SC. I was starving. I went with the old standard, a #1 with cheese, but decided to go for the chili cheese fries, due to the HUGE sign on the front of the store telling me to. I was worried I hadn't saved enough room, but I summoned my inner Kobayashi and went back to the counter: Chocolate Cherry Milkquake and two chili cheese pups. To go! After a brief phone call from Courtney, she had given me an idea. You don't get that close to the beach and not go. So I loaded back into the truck and rolled up the street to Atlantic Ave, that goes directly to Garden City beach. Grabbed my food at made my way out to the sand. The law says you can't have dogs on the beach off leash. You know what I say to that?  Bite Me! In reality, it wasn't the beach cops I was concerned about. That picture is perhaps one of the toughest I have ever had to take. As I "set up" the shot, I look up to see:   With my seagull adventure behind me, I grabbed my MilkQuake and returned to my truck to enjoy it in peace.  |
Friday, February 15, 2008
Breaking Booty News!
| You may have heard the news this morning (I hate TMZ.com) that former NFL Quarterback and current Fox Sportscaster, Josh Booty, was arrested for DUI and then tazed during booking. Who is Josh Booty, you ask? Who cares! There is really only one question that needs an answer. When it's time for his trial, will Judge Wapner ask Rusty the bailiff, While we're at it, who knew Judge Wapner now lived in Athens, GA?!? I smell a road trip! How's this for fun: Me, Judge Wapner, and a sackfull of Krystals. He can rule in favor of delicious and sentence me to lunch! Anyway, enough of the booty banter. Today I will be road tripping back to Murrell's Inlet once again. Top priority is to get my hands on the new Chocolate Covered Cherry MilkQuake. While I am back in Krystal Kountry, I will of course have to grab a pile of Krystals, perhaps some pups, and maybe a Chik or two. And fries, glorious fries. In anticipation of this feast, I have not eaten breakfast, nor will I eat anything until I arrive at Krystal. I will be leaving in about an hour, so I can hopefully avoid the lunch rush and the insane Myrtle Beach Friday rush hour. This will of course be my first fresh Krystals since I officially put "Krystal Thursdays" on hiatus back on January 3rd. Today will be a glorious day. Small steamy burgers, long drive down the coast, chocolate cherry Milkquake. Somebody taze me so I'll know I'm not dreaming! (But please move that table, first!) |
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's Day Tips
| Yes, today is Valentine's Day. The day that the greeting card and candy companies conspired together on. Sadly, the internet and "e-cards" have destroyed the greeting card industry, and so now we are left to be pummeled by electronic greetings from people we don't even know. As a guy, I can sympathize with the other men out there who are always faced with the Valentine's Dilemma: In previous years, I might have suggested you tell her that instead of crummy old diamonds you got her fresh Krystals. Sadly you're likely to spend the rest of the evening trying to convince her that diamonds are "so 1900's" and that Krystals are the new diamond. For those looking for the more passionate approach, I might suggest a quick mid-afternoon phone call telling her that you have a steamy evening planned. Again, sadly, you'll spend the rest of your evening trying to explain that you meant a steamy sack full of Krystals. No, my friends, the old approaches to injecting a little steamy Krystal goodness into your Valentine's Day were simply destined to create another Valentine's Day Massacre. It was time for something new, something sweet, something delicious. And Krystal has done it!  Sadly, due to my work schedule (noon to 8pm, today) and my location in Burgatory, I will be unable to enjoy one of these new MilkQuakes today. I think this means I will be road tripping back into South Carolina this weekend for one. And a mess of Cheese Krystals, chili cheese fries, pups, chicks, oh my! Is it lunch time yet?!? For those who choose not to participate in the "Valentine's Scam" Krystal has you covered, too.   |
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Krystals by Email?
| Many many years ago (1993-94) I actually worked online for AOL as a chat room host. Way back when there was such a thing. Back then it was fairly standard for room hosts to have a huge collection of "Emoticons." In fact we had a set of tools called "gHost Tools" that allowed us to send various emoticons to the screen, though most of us were quick enough on the draw to type them manually. (Today, gHost Tools would be called a "Macro" program.) Back when I was hosting we came up with thousands of these. I still have gHost Tools and my macro collections somewhere around here. Just in case there was any doubt, I was, am, and always will be a geek. While these days, people don't use the term "Emoticons" that much, almost everyone who has used a computer knows what they are. These days they are usually called "Smileys." Just in case you have been under a rock, here is how they work. The original Emoticon was this: One evening long, long ago, Courtney and I came up with a new one. Combining the smile and the kissy face we created :*) The other evening I was typing an email and wanted some way to put a "Krystal" in my email. A big selling point of emoticons is that they are (normally) one liners with only a few keystrokes. An email subject only allows one line and usually has limited space. Perfect for emoticons! A little tinkering and suddenly, I had it! So here, for the first time ever, I present: The EmotiKrystal! (Ok so maybe I need a better name.) First lets go with the super fancy Web-enabled Krystal:
It is important that the HTML code is all one line, with no added spaces or enters, as these will only "spread out" your Krystal. (Double ick!) I also set the font to Times New Roman which is likely the default if you're on a Windows machine. Macintoshes are a crapshoot at best. Also I put everything in bold to make the symbols and colors stand out more. I am fairly certain you can find the correct symbols on your keyboard. (Hint: They're all "right hand" keys.) Sadly, it appears Blogger may not let me increase my font size so you'll have to settle for tiny Krystal, however the code above with make a big beautiful Krystal on a web page, I promise! So deliciously beautiful you might start trying to eat your monitor, so be careful!! So with that out of the way, we revisit the original idea: a one line, true emoticon for a Krystal. And here it is--> (|] Depending on your font, you may get slightly skewed Krystals, but the idea is still quite clear. Yum yum! I also decided it would be wise to scour the internet for this emoticon as well and from what I can tell this particular set up has never been used before. I have seen a few websites that try to make a hamburger emoticon, but they do strange things like using O (oh) or 0 (zero) for the top and bottom bun and even X and # for condiments. (Search this page for "Hamburger" and you'll see.) I must admit I have had McD hamburgers that I swear were assembled from across the room, and perhaps they looked like that. So I feel it is fairly safe for me to claim, at this point in time, that I created both the Eskimo Kiss emoticon as well as the delicious Krystal emoticon. So now, go forth and spread Krystal via email! Put them on web pages. Heck they'll even fit in text messages on your cell phones! It's a brave new world, my friends; we can now share Krystals with everyone at any time, anywhere. Oh what a wonderful world! |
Monday, February 11, 2008
Spaghetti and K-sauce
| While cleaning up my Krystal files collection this past weekend I discovered a recipe with pictures from well over a year ago. I searched my archives and it doesn't appear I ever actually posted it, despite my great teaser in this post. I created this recipe well over a year ago, in Sept, 2006, and just never got around to posting it. I never got to posting it partly because I feel it isn't quite complete yet, and I didn't get all the pictures I should have. But it appears I may not ever get a chance to complete this, so you'll have to fill in the blanks on your own. I love Spaghetti. I can't ever spell it, but I sure can eat it. To be honest, it if has pasta, sauce, meat and cheese, I'm there. (Go meat!) One day as I was making a batch of spaghetti and meatballs, I realized that, once again, Krystals had done a lot of the work for me. Here's what you'll need: 
The recipe is incredibly simple. First you need to conduct a bun-ectomy on all 6 burgers, and stack up the patties. Try to retain as much of the onions with the meat as you can:      |
Labels: Cheese, Onions, Recipe
Saturday, February 09, 2008
More on that.
This just in from the Ever Clever Chris:My suggestion for the new sandwich should've been obvious to everyone: The Angwich!I have but one response: "Pretty Sneaky, Chris!" As Brian pointed out in his comment on my last post, it was a bit of a long winded, rambling post. It was not, however, 5000 words. (It was 986, not including the title.) Now had I left in everything I originally planned for the post it may very well have hit 5000 words. First there was my script proposal for the TV mini series based on the Black Angus brothers, BA and Little Charrlie as they travel across the countryside in search of wonderful (and delicious) friends to join for dinner each week. Friends like: Bacon, Chili, and Mushroom (He's a Fun-guy!) While I kept the reference to Angus Young of AC/DC I left out the possible tie in of this new sandwich with the TV show Chuck. I got hooked on the show while flipping channels one evening a while back I recognized one of the actors. All of the articles written about the show talk about how the cast is made up of unknowns and nobodies. Well that all sounds like a great underdog scenario, but it's not exactly true. Most of the cast is only unknown or unfamiliar to the unobservant. For starters, the character of John Casey is played by none other than Alec Baldwin. No, he's not one of THOSE Baldwins. That would be too easy. You would know him as the big quite loner, Linderman, from his very first film, My Bodyguard (1980). Chuck's sister, Ellie is played by Sarah Lancaster that you might recognize from the TV series Everwood (2003-'05). You may even recognize Vic Sahay From a microscopic role in Good Will Hunting, or Ryan McPartlin AKA Captain Awesome from his role as the young boyfriend of Fran Drescher in the short run series "Living With Fran." As obscure as these actors may be, none of them were the one that caught my eye. Now, the one that caught my eye was Josh Gomez ("Morgan Grimes"). Who the heck is Josh Gomez, you ask? Obviously you are new here. Have you met The Ranch Tooth and his friend Josh Gomez? (check the video clips on the right side of the page.) That's right, everyone's Ranch-challenged buddy landed a TV series gig. Sadly, I don't think there's room in the series for everyone's favorite molar to make a guest appearance. And while Wendy's has thankfully ditched the red head tree kicking lunatic commercials, I doubt they'll be bringing the Ranch Tooth back. (And given the new "Fishing Wendy" commercials I think they may have sunk lower.) So in closing here's another dozen or so links and 475 or so words to include with the previous 1000. |
Friday, February 08, 2008
What's in a name?
Something new is coming to Krystal. But it needs a name. Tiffany posted this request up on the forum at Krystal Lover's Lounge a week or so ago. They've come up with a new sandwich and are taking name suggestions: Product Description: Its a 100% Black Angus beef chuck patty with melted swiss cheese and onions on mini toast.Obviously you can see the mini toast, the Black Angus beef chuck patty, the swiss cheese and the onions. But if you look a lot closer you'll find something that is NOT one of those four items. I can clearly see a yellowish and a whiteish color. I will assume the yellow color is Krystal's delicious mustard. While I personally would never have thought to put mustard on this sandwich, I wouldn't kick it I hate mayo. In fact hate is not really strong enough of a word. They need to make up a new word to describe my level of hate. Abhor, detest, despise, loathe, spurn, they all fail to reach the level of hate I feel towards mayo. Sadly it appears there may be mayo on this new sandwich. Either than or that's marshmallow fluff. (And yes, I'd prefer marshmallow fluff on my hamburger before I'd go for mayo.) Currently "The Krystal Melt" seems to be the favorite. It's short and sweet and to the point. There are also a lot of other suggestions trying to come up with creative abbreviations. The problem with doing the abbreviations is that it's just too complicated. I am quite sure Tiffany and Kenny know of the fable "elevator pitch." The idea is that if you are in an elevator with an executive, you have literally seconds to pitch your idea to the captive executive audience before one or the other of you gets out of the elevator. Often it is over simplified to a certain number of sentences or less. This is the reason that The Fair Tax, despite being a brilliant solution to the US Tax problem, will never pass. It takes too long to explain it to people. (The flat tax is not as good as the Fair Tax, but it's easily explained so it caught on quickly.) When I was teaching at Mercer I had a few theory classes and those tests often included long answer/essay questions. The problem with those is that some student who does not know the answer go with the idea that if they just keep writing they will either accidently stumble over the answer I am looking for, or I will get tired of reading it and give them credit. At one time I was working on a scheme that would allot a certain number of words for the entire test (5000 words?) and the student had to "spend" his words carefully among the various questions. Perhaps one day I'll revisit that idea. Speaking of revisiting, lets get back to the new sandwich, shall we? Being the sarcastic trouble maker I am, I have thrown a suggestion into the mix: The K-swiss, short for Krystal with Swiss. Of course I am unsure if Krystal's legal department is ready for the lawsuit they'd certainly get, and if they somehow were able to keep that name, you know people would compare the sandwich to a tennis shoe. And while we're at it, why do most tennis shoes have holes on the sides for ventilation, but K-SWISS, the one shoe that SHOULD have holes, does not? I have spent the last week dreaming about the deliciousness that is a BA burger. For those that missed it, you can see the ultimate example of what a BA can BE when I created the Holy Crap Burger™ and Oh My God Burger™ a year and a half ago. That post will also give you a glimpse into why abbreviations for foods are not a very good idea. If the cashier has to explain what the item is to the customer, then quite simply the item won't sell. History is flooded with products that simply wouldn't sell because of the name. So I start to think about what is really IN this new sandwich. I have to get past the whole Black Angus thing. First of all, the lead guitarist for AC/DC, Angus Young is not black, nor does he do any cattle ranching that I know of. He's certainly not Swiss either. After I got over that headache, I got back to work. Then the idea suddenly hit me from three directions at once. Its ground beef Chuck, right? And everyone knows Chuck is another name for Charles. I don't know WHY it is, but it is. I know this because in college, my fraternity big brother, Rich, believed my roommate, Brian looks like Charlie Brown, so Rich always called Brian "Chuck." (Brian was not amused.) There is also, of course the commercials for Charles Schwab that advise you to "Ask Chuck" or "Talk to Chuck." There's also everyone's favorite wine, Charles Shaw, or "Two Buck Chuck". Now Charles is a more grown up, almost stuffy name. We all know Krystal is far from stuff, and always young at heart, so Charles just won't do. But Charley will! (Or Charlie, Charlee, or whatever.) It's cute, it's fun, and it’s playful. But it's now so far from where we started, the elevator pitch will need at least 18 floors. But wait, there's more! What's the big difference between a BA Burger and a Krystal? OK, sure there are a lot of them: square vs. round, the meat, the toppings and of course the size. But the important one is the fact that unlike every other Krystal sandwich, the BA Burger is grilled. Char grilled. wait for it. YOU GOT IT! The Charrley |
Labels: Cheese, Mercer, Onions
Monday, February 04, 2008
Paul has cute little dogs.
When I start talking about eating at one of the many hot dog places around Wilmington, it is only a matter of time before my father with bring up Paul's Place. Sure enough, it's only a few miles from where my office is on North Campus, and I'd driven half way to Pauls on many occasions. There's an Andy's Cheesesteaks just north of campus, and if you drive past it you'll run into Paul's Place. Well as long as you don't blink. Paul's is very small, unassuming, and competely in the middle of nowhere:   Prior to making the drive up, I of course hit the Web Site to get the scoop. It's worth taking a moment to go see the site and read the history. Everyone talks endlessly about the relish at Paul's. It's apparently a love it or hate it type of thing. (I hated it!) This past Friday I went in to get some work done. I don't normally work on Fridays but it's so quite on campus I get a lot done! I decided to try and blend in like the natives and went with their 3 dog combo, BUT I only got one with relish. The other two I got chili, since the relish is supposed to be a chili alternative.  The relish dog is in the middle.  Looking around the place one of the things you just can't miss are the millions of jars of pickled, jellied, jammed, peppered, and sauced items   As you step up to the counter you can look down and see the hot dogs in the hot water right below you. They literally assemble your dogs within arm's reach. They place them on big squares of tissue paper and place them on your tray. Then you get your cup to go get your own drink. This is when you may notice one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Since moving to eastern NC (the birthplace of Pepsi Cola) from Georgia (the birthplace of Coke) I have fallen repeatedly into the Coke/Pepsi conundrum. The first week or so everywhere I went I would order a Pepsi and be asked if Coke was ok. So then I'd ask for a coke and occasion get asked if Pepsi is OK. Frankly, you cannot win. I'd say there's an even Coke to Pepsi ratio here. Often it's a mad dash to scan the menu or look for the drink fountains to see if you are in a Coke or Pepsi place. As I walked in to Pauls I quickly saw the Pepsi fountains to the left of the counter. So I ordered a medium Pepsi with my lunch. But as I turned to my right to find a seat I saw Coke fountain to the right end of the counter. I then had to turn completely around to make sure I hadn't mis read something. I hadn't. Paul goes both ways, apparently. This is the only time I have EVER seen a place with both Pepsi products AND Coke products. Next time I go back I will certainly get a picture. I haven't figured out exactly where to stand to get them both in the same shot. While the cola wars is currently a cold war situation (get it? Cold Cola war?) I suspect Paul's would be the perfect spot for a taste-off. Lts face it, when they hand you your cup it's 3 steps to a Coke and 3 steps to a Pepsi. Come to think of it you also have the opportunity to "cross the streams" by mixing Coke AND Pepsi in the same cup at the same time. Oh yes, my next trip to Paul's will be an enlightening and entertaining experience for sure! But please, hold the relish. |
Labels: Cheese, Chili, Onions, Wilmington
