Wednesday, June 18, 2008

 

Jerk-Chef on BravoTV

While I enjoyed my "Bananas Brule" I still felt there was something not quite right with them. They were good, but I wanted great. Then it occurred to me: with fish, you don't cook fillets on the grill, since the exposed side grain sticks and the fish breaks easily. You cook steaks because the end grain doesn't stick very well and removal is easy. Suddenly, I had it: Banana Steak Brule! Hurry! Back to the kitchen!
Banana Steak Cuts
Did you remember to place the banana sticker on the end of your nose? It's probably not wise to cut the entire banana at first as it will start to turn brown before you can enjoy your deliciousness. This was one of the reasons my first attempt didn't work so well. Also, the end or "banana butt" won't be needed so eat it immediately.
As before we're going to dip the cut sides of the bananas into a shallow bowl of sugar to coat. This time we need to be more careful. If your banana is not very firm, you may accidentally mush it into the sugar. Then you'll simply have to eat that sugar coated banana mush.
Crank up the heat!
You must absolutely resist the temptation to toss these bit sized goodies in your mouth as soon as you are done. That sugar is like lava. Give it 10-20 seconds, THEN pop it in your mouth!
The thin crisp sugar shell, the smooth sweet banana. I was quite happy. I made a few more and took them to the living room to contemplate my next step. I was thinking something along the lines of maybe a strawberry puree or sauce to compliment the banana, or perhaps a bowl of ice cream with my Banana Steak Brule on top. When I want to get into a cooking frame of mind, I tend to watch the food shows.
Imagine my surprise when I turn on Bravo TV to Top Chef and see some jerk cooking MY Banana Steaks! He calls them Banana Scallops. He also paired them with some bacon flavored ice cream. Dude, I did the bacon and banana thing already! He's CLEARLY been stealing ideas from my blog. That jerk! (Chris emailed to tell me the chef, Richard from Atlanta, apparently does the bacon thing often and had actually done the seared scallops in prior episodes here and here)
I sat on the couch, seething with rage. I wanted to kick that guys potASSium! I threw yucky banana peels at the tv, screeching at the top of my lungs. I beat my chest and waved my arms over my head. I jumped up and down on the sofa. I then fell off the sofa and bumped my head. Sadly, my mom wasn't here to call the doctor. I know his "cure" would simply be to tell me to stop jumping on the furniture. Then he'd charge my insurance $3,856.
Perhaps I need to cut back on my banana intake? Seriously, I have had a bunch of bananas over the past couple of weeks. Get it? A BUNCH of bananas? Actually I have had 3 bunches of bananas. I am beginning to feel like Koko Kobayashi.
Earlier this month, Alton brown did a banana episode of Good Eats. I thought perhaps that may have been where I got the idea for torching some sugar coated bananas. Sadly, he doesn't torch them but he does make Bananas Foster, which does involve bananas and flames (and rum!). You can catch that episode again this Friday at 11pm repeated at 2am on Food Network. I then discovered that in his episode on sugar he does "Banana Splitsville" which has more or less the same thing as my first shot at Bananas Brule. Alton, of course, goes way overboard in his version.
What have I learned from all of this banana infused, TV chef turmoil? I have learned that I probably need to have my own cooking show. I've been told this many times and even kicked the idea around with a few people. In fact I had a discussion with Courtney about having a cooking show when I was down in Jacksonville. Tune in tomorrow to learn more about our potential TV show.
Warning:
Tomorrow's post will be a rare detour from KrystalAdventure's standard G and PG rated posts. Tomorrow's post will be in the PG-13 or R area for language and adult themes. I'll repeat this warning again tomorrow.
And if you think that's just a cheap gimmick to insure maximum readership tomorrow, you are right! (You see? I already know how previews, cliffhangers, and "sweeps" work on TV.)
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

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Monday, June 16, 2008

 

The hottest thing in my kitchen

While cooking up a batch of Bacon Bac-o-bake I started to think about all the times I'd seen people cooking with bananas. It always seemed an exciting magical experience. This was not it. "What am I missing?" I asked myself. The answer came to me in a flash:
Flames
I had been neglecting the hottest thing in my kitchen. Contrary to popular belief, Courtney is not the hottest thing in my kitchen. Obviously, she's not even IN my kitchen. While she might rank above the stove and my oven, she's got a ways to go to hit 2400°
I have a blowtorch. All great chefs have a blow torch. Most go with the industrial size propane blowtorch used by plumbers. I do not have room in my kitchen for such luxury, and I suspect the apartment complex might not be happy with my stockpiling of propane tanks. I have a handheld butane torch. I still have fond memories of Julia Child donning the safety goggles and giggling with delight as she blow torched something delicious. So then I asked myself: WWJD (What would Julia do?)
Bananas, and sugar. It's really that easy. Well, of course it's not EASY, but it's fun. It's chemistry. It's not kid friendly. There is a chance of burning the house down. This is my kind of stuff!
Take a banana, skin on, and give it one "steak cut" and then one "fillet cut." Fill a shallow dish with a thick layer of sugar, and then press the cut side of the banana into the sugar to coat. Then crank up sparky.
When using a blowtorch, you need to remember your chemistry class. First of all you need safety glasses. Second, all cooking should be done on a fire proof surface. (I placed them on baking racks on a foil lined pan, placed on top of my stove.) Third, you'll be using flames, so you should assume all metal and glass is hot since you cannot SEE temperature. (This same rule applies at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.)
My torch does not have a built in igniter. This does prove to be a bit inconvenient, however it is also a BIG safety feature. There's nothing worse than walking around with a butane blow torch in your pocket that accidentally ignites when you sit down. I turn on the butane, light the flame with a lighter, and adjust the air intake until I get a sharp blue flame. The tip of that flame is the hottest part and that's what you cook with. Wave back and forth over the sugar until it melts and begins to darken. It starts slow, but you have to be careful. It goes from solid to liquid to burnt in mere seconds. It is 2400 degrees you know! With a little practice you can get the hang of it.
When you are done, wait a minute or so before you peel off the banana peel. The sugar is super hot and will stick to you while it burns you. Think of it as a sweet and tasty napalm.
This is not one of those "make ahead" kind of desserts. It's probably best to do table side. If you cut the bananas early they go brown or get yucky. Adding the sugar to the bananas makes a neat science project, but an unappetizing dessert.
Bananas are actually quite juicy. Sugar is amazingly hygroscopic. That means it absorbs water. This is why sugary cookies get soft when they get stale. They suck water out of the surrounding air.
Here is a good science fair project that you can do at home to learn about the hygroscopic effects of sugar. (It's also a tasty experiment, which is good too!)
Peel your bananas and eat them as soon as possible after you torch them, again allowing time for the sugar to solidify. If you let them sit more than 15 minutes or so the crisp sugar "crust" will have pulled enough moisture that it won't be crisp. Within 30 minutes, you'll have brown liquid goo that drips off the bananas onto the pan below. Neat from a scientific standpoint. Sad from a tasty dessert standpoint.
Krystal Lovers like it steamy.

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

 

It's not the forbidden fruit (but it should be!)

After my adventures into Bacon and Bananas. It slowly dawned on me: I had been lured to the dark side by the deliciousness that is Bacon. It really is an irresistible food. Salty, meaty, crunchy, porky. YUM!
I decided to retrace my steps to figure out what had lead me down the path of pork destruction. It all started back with a simple idea: fruit and peanut butter. Over the years when I think back on my childhood, one of my favorite snacks was fruit and peanut butter. Heck one of my favorite snacks was simply peanut butter. Open the jar, scoop out a big spoonful (on a serving spoon, not some wimpy table spoon) and then you have a peanut butter pop to last you an hour or so. But when other people were home, I couldn't go for the simple peanut butter on a spoon snack. People frown on your shoving a spoon in the peanut butter jar and then into your face.
My mother had the greatest snack item ever. However, it's not the kind of snack a kid can make themselves. Lucky for me, my driver's license says I am not a kid anymore. So I can finally make this myself.
You're going to need: peanut butter, your favorite variety of apple (I always go for granny smith), an an apple corer. One day I was explaining this recipe to someone and I told them you'd have to core an apple. They then asked:
How do you core an apple?
Seriously, how do you answer that question without sounding like you are insulting them? Well I had no problem since I don't mind insulting stupid people. Chances are they're so stupid they won't know you insulted them.
You use an apple corer.
You need to be extremely careful when coring an apple. It's easy to go through the apple and then through your hand. Then YOU will feel stupid. I find that if you pick apples that are big enough then the apple corer won't be long enough to go all the way through to your hand. You will, however, have to do some work from each end of the apple to get a clean hole all the way through.
Next up you grab your jar of peanut butter and a butter knife. Start loading up the cavity in the apple with peanut butter. The trick is that you are trying to shove the peanut butter down into the hole, not just smooth it across the top. You'll be amazed at how much peanut butter it takes to fill the apple up. Most times I eventually have to flip it over and start putting in peanut butter from the other end.
I know one person who said they used to put chocolate chips in the middle with the peanut butter. That sounds good, but it might be overkill, and it certainly makes this snack more complicated than it needs to be.
If the apple is especially juicy, then the juice will mix with the peanut butter and start to make it runny. A cold apple and/or cold peanut butter solves that problem.
Filling the apple tends to get messy, but when you are done it's a beautiful thing to behold. Wipe down the outsides of the apple and admire your work. Then, take a bite.
I have yet to find a way to eat these that doesn't get messy. If you are going to hand this ball of wonder over to your kids, you should put them in the back yard, and be prepared to hose them down before letting them back in the house.
I know it may sound like a lot of work and even more trouble, but trust me. It's worth it. I bet you could probably make some, wrap them in plastic wrap, and store them in the fridge while the kids are at school and then they're ready to go when the kids come in the door. Or you can just eat them all yourself while the kids are at school. There's wont be any incriminating evidence.
The best part of all is that when you are done eating it, there is nothing left. No core, no seeds, no stem. Just messy hands that you (or the dog) can lick clean.
As I sat on my sofa eating my apple, I was reading my jar of peanut butter. In particular I was reading the nutrition information and ingredients list. I already knew that since I was using Peter Pan there would be all sorts of bad additives. Sure enough I was right:
Roasted Peanuts, Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oils (Cottonseed and Rapeseed), Salt.
At first I laughed at the apparent typo. They MUST have left off the letter G on Grapeseed. Actually, there is something called rapeseed oil. The rest of the universe calls it "Canola Oil." One would think a company obviously selling peanut butter to kids (Peter Pan?) would try and avoid putting Rapeseed on the label if given another choice.
Then I saw something that shocked me. It terrified me. Right below the ingredients list in big bold print:
CONTAINS: PEANUTS
Yes I know peanut allergies are a big deal. I know of people who have died because of it. But lets get serious. Who is going to miss the big words "Peanut Butter" on the front, AND the words "Roasted Peanuts" in the ingredients list but catch the bold print below the ingredients list?
I suppose ConAgra Foods thinks that people with peanut allergies are idiots. Sadly, I know it's really the government's fault. They force idiotic warnings for even the most obvious things. This is a large part of why our society is going in the crapper. Government is anti-evolution. Instead of survival of the fittest, government is all about protecting the idiots. With the government protection, idiots grow to maturity and then breed bigger idiots. The kind of idiots who ask you how you core an apple.
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

 

Banana Bac-O-Bake

After Courtney's offer to put bacon on my PB&B I made a mental note:
"try bacon on bananas."
Last week I did a little shopping and I got to work. It's strange how much work goes in to keeping things simple.
You will need some bananas (I used 5), some bacon, toothpicks, and perhaps some parchment paper and a rolling pin. I went with the brown sugar bacon because brown sugar compliments bananas very well. In hindsight, I would probably have looked for a much leaner bacon.
Step 1 is to remove the banana sticker and place it on the end of your nose until you are done cooking.
Remove about 10 slices of the bacon from the package. Cut the slices in half. In my recipe I used an old trick I have known for many years: bacon stretching.
If you place a slice of bacon between two peices of parchment paper (NOT wax paper) you can roll it and make it longer or wider. I wanted longer, not really wider, so I only rolled in lengthwise strokes. It's best to work from the middle out, otherwise it will wrinkle the bacon and parchment up and make a mess.
At this point I probably should have placed the bacon back in the fridge. All of this working of the bacon had warmed it up and everything from this point forward got messy and slippery. If you place it back in the fridge for a few minutes it will firm up and be workable again.
Next we need to cut our bananas. First peel the banana, then you cut them with three "steak cuts" producing four banana cylinders.
It is best to cut one banana and finish the recipe for that one before cutting another banana to prevent browning. With one slice of bacon cylinder and one slice of banana, carefully wrap the bacon around the banana, securing it with a tooth pick.
Place the wrapped banana on a baking sheet. Continue cutting and wrapping all of the bananas with bacon.
Place the whole tray in a 400 degree oven for 15-20 minutes.
Carefully remove the bacon wrapped bananas from the tray and allow them to cool briefly, but don't let them sit too long before you enjoy them.
The difficulty in this recipe has to do with the bacon wrapping. You don't want too much bacon around the banana or the heat won't cook the bacon all the way through. While rolling the bacon out does thin the bacon, it also results in many more layers of bacon on each banana. I think if you can cut the bacon so it results in only one layer of bacon that would work best. This will require a bit more investigation into the cutting and rolling out of the bacon.
The moist banana keeps the bacon from getting really crispy, so if you are a crunchy bacon fan, this may not be your thing. And if you don't eat them soon after they come out of the oven they get brown (not the good kind of brown) and mushy, and then the bananas start to lose moisture and the bacon gets yucky. So eat it while it's hot!
Probably the most important thing I learned from this is: just because you HAVE five bananas and a whole package of bacon doesn't mean you have to USE all five bananas. Once I ripped into the package of Bacon I couldn't help myself. I was rolling and cutting bacon and having a grand of time. It was only when I had 20 bacon wrapped banana slices on the tray that I realized the problem: that's a lot of bananas! In the future, perhaps maybe one banana will do.
If you are wondering what happened to the leftover bacon I have one simple question:
What is leftover bacon?
When i was growing up there was no such thing as "leftover bacon." Any bacon not being used in the current recipe was cooked anyway. Trust me, it won't make it past lunch. Sure you cook a pound of bacon for breakfast, and save a few slices with thoughts of a bacon and lettuce sandwich for lunch. (I don't eat tomatoes so I don't make BLT's. Besides, right now tomatoes may kill you anyway. But not at Krystal!!)
Unless you keep that bacon in your pocket until lunch, the roaming bacon grazers will get to your stash of bacon and it won't make it to your sandwich. That happens all the time around my family. If you placed a plate of home made cookies and home made bacon side by side on the counter, the bacon will disappear before the cookies. After all Bacon is Meat Candy.
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

 

Elvis has left the kitchen

You may recall the entire reason for this week of going ape over bananas was due to my visit with Courtney and my recent discovery that some people find peanut butter and banana sandwiches "icky." Those people are nuts. (Get it? They're nuts?)
I do have one question though. When you make your banana sandwich, how do you slice your bananas? From my prior post on banana slicing, there are two basic cuts:
Fillets

and Steaks
I know a lot of people go with "fillet cut" bananas because it requires less cuts. I prefer "steak cut" because it seems to optimize your bread coverage, while reducing banana waste. Also, you have better control over banana content.
With fillet cuts you have a maximum thickness to your slices. Basically, you can't make slices thicker than half the diameter of the banana. Without either huge slices of bread, a very small banana, or crazy cutting, you can only use 3 quarters of the banana. The remaining quarter has one long exposed cut side and that will be brown in 10 minutes. That really seems wasteful.
With steak cuts, your thickness is determined by the LENGTH of the banana, not the width. Though I can't imagine making a sandwich with slices as thick as half the length of a banana, who am I to judge? I chose to arrange my "banana steaks" in the typical 3x3 pattern. It was quick and easy. For those who desire to further optimize their bread coverage, I suggest you investigate the history of the Baker's Dozen. Instead of a basic grid placement, you'll need to go with triangles or hexagonal patterns. Or you'll have to start dividing the banana steaks into wedges. When I want a PB&B, I am usually not up for plane geometry. I keep is simple.
In the second picture I am sure you are wondering about those stray mini nilla wafers on the edge of the plate. Well, the other benefit of "steak cut" banana slices is that it allows better placement of "additions." Chocolate chips slide nicely in between the slices, making chocolaty pockets of goodness among the banana. Especially if you briefly microwave the sandwich. I chose to add some crispy crunch with nilla wafers.
You may have noticed I put Peanut Butter on BOTH slices of bread. In a basic PB&B, this is not required, though often desired. Who says "no" to MORE peanut butter? (Well I suppose those with a peanut allergy might.) If you choose to add additional toppings the extra peanut butter will help hold them in place.
As I was putting the lid on my PB&B Courtney wandered into the kitchen to pick up hers and seeing my almost completed sandwich, she opened the fridge and grabbed the Hormel Bacon Bits and asked if I wanted to put some on my sandwich. (You see? She really does understand me!) I opted not to add pork to a PB&B, because I didn't think it needed an additional P (pork) or B (bacon) in the name.
While I was making my sandwiches, we also discussed the fabled Peanut Butter and Honey sandwich. We had no honey on hand so we couldn't go there, but we discussed theory. I personally put peanut butter on BOTH halves of the bread, thus forming a "honey pocket" in the bread. Tasty, but messy when you take that first big bit. Courtney goes with peanut butter on only one half, allowing the honey to soak in and "krystallize" (yeah I used a K, so what?) in the other half of the sandwich. It's good but the honey often seeps through the bread to make a rather sticky sandwich.
When I returned home to research this post, I discovered the history of the peanut butter and banana sandwich and Elvis. Most people know of his love for peanut butter and banana sandwiches that were then fried in butter. The problem is, for some reason there are now 2 or 3 variations of the "official" recipe, some adding bacon, some adding Honey, some adding both. I have also found one that instead of simply pan frying in butter, they dip it in a french toast batter to fry. Maybe the reason Elvis left the building was because they kept screwing up his sandwich.
Krystal Lovers like hot buns.

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Monday, June 09, 2008

 

Peanut Butter and Bananilla Sandwiches!

Yesterday we wrapped things up with some deliciously carved Banana Steaks. Of course we are en route to a peanut butter and banana sandwich. But since we'd only recently returned from a trip to the grocery store for cheesecake fixin's, my eyes kept wandering. You may have seen them lurking in the shadows of my previous pictures.
When I make my own cheesecakes, I had make the crust from Nilla Wafer crumbs. My first few years of cheesecake baking I used graham cracker crumbs. It's good and quite tasty, but I find the crust get a bit tough at times, but Nilla Wafers are always wonderful. Once, a long time ago, I saw a package of ready made crumbs at the store, but have never seen them since. So I have to make my own crumbs as well. I would never EVER resort to using the ready made Nilla Wafer crust. Its tough enough convincing people that I make my own cheesecake. If there's a clearly store bought crust involved, then I lose all credibility.
Because I have basically zero counter space, I have no room for a real food processor. I use a food processor attachment to my stick blender. Due to the confined space, I buy the Mini Wafers. It takes a while to grind them down to the proper size. But I eat a few as snacks along the way so it's all good.
As I am standing in Courtney's kitchen, surrounded by banana steaks and peanut butter, it dawns on me: banana steaks are roughly the same size as mini nilla wafers. And what's the second most important part of a real banana pudding? The Vanilla Wafer Crust! Ready? Here we go!
Place two mini nilla wafers down on a plate. Apply peanut butter to them both: on the curved (top) side of one and on the flat side (bottom) of the other.
Next place one "banana steak" down on top of the peanut butter on the curved wafer. Then place the flat peanut buttered side of the other wafer on top of the banana steak.
The reason it is important to pay attention to the flat and curved sides is so the tiny little sandwich will sit flat. Of you have the curved side down it's likely to roll over.
Ok, so 10 seconds of inspiration in a coincidental arrangement of ingredients produced what can only be regarded as the tastiest little snack. The really cool part is that the recipe is 100% kid safe. They don't need any stove, oven, microwave, or sink. For slicing the banana, kids could use a butter knife or plastic knife without too much trouble.
These may be a bit time consuming to make for a big party. If your peanut butter is not too tick you could put it in a piping bag and really speed up the process. Have one person carving bananas and another with the peanut butter bag in one hand, piping in peanut butter with one hand and layer with the other.
I can certainly imagine lots of great extras you could do to spruce them up. The problem will be in the banana's tendency to brown very quickly once you peel and slice them. Since the peanut butter makes it all stick together, you could certainly put a toothpick into the banana and then dip them in melted chocolate. Then no one can see if the banana slice is browned.
Or simply place some chocolate on the banana sort of like a s'more. Perhaps marshmallow creme on one side to balance out the peanut butter? Maybe a Hershey's Kiss for the top instead of the second Nilla Wafer. Even better, a Junior Mint!
"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint?
It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!"
- Kramer, in "The Junior Mints"
Krystal Lovers like hot buns.

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Sunday, June 08, 2008

 

Knock Knock? Who's There? Banana!!!

While out doing some shopping, Courtney and I stopped off the get the stuff needed to bake a cheesecake. (It's sort of a given that I'm baking a cheesecake when I go visit.) While picking up the required materials, Courtney also picked up some bananas for Sean. Sean loves bananas. Courtney loves bananas. I love bananas. No post related to bananas should ever begin without the classic cover of The Banana Splits Theme by my all time favorite punk band, The Dickies. (Yes, I was in to punk from about 1986-89.)

Click here if the video won't play above.
Be sure and check out their covers of Paranoid and Night in White Satin, too! I wore out my old Dickies cassettes many years ago and haven't rebuilt my CD collection.
Anyway, Courtney picked up four bananas. There are no bananas called for in my cheesecake recipe. At least not the one I was making. I do have a yummy banana and chocolate cheesecake recipe though. Sean is only allowed one banana a day, so I knew someone would have to "dispose" of some bananas before the weekend was up and the bananas went bad. In hind sight, I think Courtney knew I would count the bananas and hatch a plan, so she intentionally bought extras.
While Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork didn't show up to help, we still made up a mess of fun and it was lots of fun for everyone! (Tra-la -la!)
When I came up with my idea of mixing the two latest MilkQuakes, Banana Pudding and Peanut Butter, nine out of ten people would wrinkle their noses and say "Ewww!" when I mentioned it. OK, so we all know I come up with plenty of "ewww" ideas, but this one was so absolutely normal. When I would dig deeper, I discovered that there are LOTS of people who have never had a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Poor, poor, sheltered childhoods!
The first time I made my chocolate and banana cheesecake I also discovered there are a lot of people who simply don't like bananas. (I also discovered I had a friend with a nut allergy. EEK!) I freely admit I don't eat "banana flavored" stuff like candy, or drinks. But I'm up for anything made with real bananas. So with that in mind, so for the next few days:
Two Banana, four banana, one banana, three
Swinging like a bunch of monkeys hanging from a tree
Hey there everybody won't you come along and see
How much like Banana Splits everyone can be
First of all lets discuss the proper purchase of the bananas. When you choose your bananas, keep in mind they won't last more than a few days before they reach "yucky stage." While "yucky stage" is good for making banana bread and chocolate banana cheesecakes (I mash the bananas by hand) most of the time it's not very good for regular ripe banana eating. So go for slightly firm under ripe bananas unless you intend to eat them that day. You'll get more mileage out of them. I think the Chiquita Banana lady says it best:

Click here if the video above won't play
Also when you choose your bananas, make sure they have the sticker on them. No, it's not a law or anything like that, just trust me, you want the sticker. When I buy bananas, since I know I can't eat and entire bunch of 8 or 10 bananas before they go bad, I will divide a bunch. No one has ever told me that's a produce crime, so I'll find the best half bunch. If the sticker is on the other half, I'll move it to my half. (It IS cheating however to move a sticker from another bunch to your bunch, and double cheating if you add MORE stickers to your bunch that the number you found it with.)
Why do you need the sticker, you ask? Well obviously it's to stick on the end of your nose while you eat your bananas!
I have been putting the banana sticker on my nose as long as I can remember. Occasionally arguments would break out between my brother and I over the sticker. That's one of the best things about living alone: you ALWAYS get the banana sticker! Usually at some point I'll belt out a verse of the Chiquita Banana song, too! You have to keep the sticker on your nose til you're done with your banana though. And if you forget to take it off your nose, I find that people will stare at you but no one will point it out to you. (They're probably just jealous that you got the banana sticker.)
Now that you have your bananas home, how do you peel them? Well most people will say "From the top." They are right, but the funny thing is, the only reason they are "right" is because they are "wrong" twice. Have you ever seen bananas growing? Most people haven't. They've only seen them after they have been harvested. So most people don't know which end is REALLY the top:
The stem is the bottom of the banana! I know it seems upside down, but it's true. Us crazy consumers have been convinced that the stem goes up, and this is reinforced by crazy contraptions like this.
So now that you have your top up and your bottom down, I bet you're confused, right? How do you peel THAT end? It's simple. Hand a banana to a monkey and watch. Or just take my word for it. Pinch the end of the banana slightly. It takes practice to pinch without overly bruising the banana. You may have to pinch twice, once in each direction.
Eventually you'll get the hang of it. The pinch will separate the peel so you can easily unwrap your tasty treat! And the stem makes a nice handle, sort of like a popsicle. Cleanup will be a breeze, too. I have been told that peeling your banana this way also reduces the amount of "strings" you have to deal with since you're peeling back against the direction the banana grows. I haven't really noticed this, but then I'm not all hung up on the whole "string" issue. I'm just not THAT picky about my tropical fruit.
If you intend to eat the banana "Monkey Style" then you're all set. But if you're going to be making something with your banana, then you may need to slice it. your first decision is to slice it in "steaks" or "fillets." (Yes these are seafood terms, but work with me here.) A "Fillet Cut" goes from top to bottom. A "Steak cut" goes across.
In fish mongering we say a fillet goes from head to tail, parallel to the spine, and a steak cut is perpendicular to the spine. Bananas don't have a spine, so that really wouldn't have made much sense would it? For today, lets cut banana steaks.
A trick someone once showed me for cutting a banana was to peel it completely except on strip. That strip shouldn't be on the inside or outside of the curve of the banana.
You then lay the banana down on the counter with the peel down. The peel then becomes your "cutting board."
I showed this trick to my mother once and her reply was simple. "Why don't you just do this?"
She then picked up the banana in one hand, the knife in the other. She turned the knife so the blade faced up toward her thumb, and using a "scissor" motion, sliced the banana steaks right into her cereal. Hmm. So maybe my good trick wasn't really such a good trick. Hers was faster and a whole lot easier.
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Krystal Lovers like hot buns.

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

 

I'm not a one trick pony (or piglet).

Most of my past few posts have had a running "back story" to them. The problem is, it's a secret back story you don't know yet. I haven't yet figured out how to say what needs to be said, so I dance around it instead. Just like today.
Tomorrow is secretary's day. Our department secretary, Ulene, is crafty, so we have no hope of surprising her on Secretary's day. So we got sneaky and did it today! I'd be willing to bet that trick won't work next year.
Anyway, starting about a week ago the top secret "who's bringing what?" list started going around in Email. I could feel the unspoken peer pressure:
"Jason, bring your turtle cheesecake."
I believe I have brought in 2 or 3 of them since I started last August. I've made a lot of them over the past few months. In fact on my Christmas vacation I had a master plan of baking 3 cheesecakes in 3 different cities: Jacksonville, Macon, and Conyers.
The picture above is from Chris' Christmas in Conyers. (And yes for those utterly confused by my multiple Chris references in my previous post, I did just say "Chris" Christmas Party.)
Sadly, I never got to make one in Macon, but I managed a save by baking a red velvet cheesecake with my mother just after Christmas.
When I enter the building at work with my cake caddy, people's heads poke out of the office and they stare intently as I pass. They then slink down the hall to try and be the first to pounce on the cheesecake.
So to please the masses I added my name and "Cheesecake" to the list, and was greeted with great sighs of joy and relief. But in the spirit of being sneaky and crafty, I had a plan.
I'd been telling them ever since I brought my first cheesecake that I can make others. I keep telling them "I'm not a one trick pony!" No one seems to care. No one has ever asked for anything else. It's assumed I'll bring in the turtle cheesecake. You know what they say about assuming right? I decided that since they'll always ask for the same thing, it was up to me to force the issue.
I decided to go with my original "Reese's Cheesecake" made with Reese's Peanut Butter and Hershey's Chocolate.
I haven't made one of these in years, and was a bit rusty. The recipe is not written down anywhere so I have to more or less figure it out every time I make it. But it turned out pretty good.
Of course there were plenty of confused looks when I opened the cake caddy and there sat a very un-turtlish cheesecake. I then had to explain it was chocolate and peanut butter (no caramel). This was greeted with nods and smiles. Then they attacked my cheesecake, forks, spoons, and knives flying everywhere.
I do hope I have shown them I am not a one trick pony. Sadly, it occurred to me later this afternoon that I have probably just convinced them MORE than I am "the cheesecake guy." So next time I think I need to go the complete opposite of cheesecake. And that is where I got stuck for most of today. What is the opposite of cheesecake?
The best I could come up with was fish. But I don't eat or cook fish. I was stumped.
Then Colby came to the rescue. You may remember Colby, the finder of all things Pork. He introduced me to Chocolate covered bacon. He sent me the link to the Wake-n-Bacon Alarm Clock. The latest example of Porkfection from Colby: Chicken Fried Bacon With Cream Gravy! For your own safety, do NOT read the "Nutrition Facts" on the right hand side! But wait! There's also a video!
I do now live in the heart of Pork-opolis, so the next time we have an office party, it's either chocolate covered bacon, or maybe even Chicken Fried Bacon with Cream Gravy. Cause really, what is Chicken Fried Bacon without gravy, anyway?
Oh I can feel my arteries clog up just thinking about it!
And maybe we can have cheesecake for desert? What? You don't really feel like cheesecake anymore? GOOD!
Krystal Lovers like hot buns.

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Monday, March 31, 2008

 

We'll leave the light on for ya.

One of the first things I looked into when I moved back to North Carolina was the location of the lighthouses. I am not sure if there is a "lighthouse gene" or not, or if it is just that there have always been pictures of lighthouses around the house as long as I can remember. Either way I find that fascinating despite never really ever going near any of them.
Event 4 or 5 years ago I was contemplating taking a long vacation to visit the Outer Banks of North Carolina and see the light houses. Now that I live here, there's nothing holding me back! Imagine my delight when I found that there are actually a couple of them within a short drive (or ferry ride) of me!
For the record we will all agree that there are 7 lighthouses in North Carolina. Depending on how you define "Lighthouse" that number can be 8, 9, 10, 13 or even close to 20. Some of those "lighthouses" though would be extremely boring and almost impossible to visit since they're basically steel platforms a few miles offshore. Some of the lighthouses are barely standing and a few are simply the remaining foundations of long ago destroyed lighthouses. For now lets just go with the basic 7 light houses, from South to North:
  1. Oak Island
  2. Bald head Island ("Old Baldy")
  3. Cape Lookout
  4. Okracoke
  5. Cape Hatteras
  6. Bodie Island
  7. Currituck Beach
The first two are just south of me and were the obvious choice to my first visits.
I am quite fortunate in the case of Oak Island, as it has only recently been opened to the public. Up until roughly a year ago you could walk up to it but no go inside. in 2007 the US Coast Guard turned the lighthouse over to Oak Island and they now open it a couple of days a week for tours to the first level. Even better, with advance notice, you can get a tour guide to lead you to the top of the lighthouse.
This past weekend a tour group fro Wilmington was going to drive to Oak Island to climb the lighthouse and then over to Southport, a neighboring touristy town.
Since my mother shares my lighthouse fascination (or perhaps I inherited it from her?) she and I both went along on the trip.
We rode over on the short bus (stop laughing!) and the trip took maybe an hour or so. When we unloaded from the bus you realize that you are parked right beside the lighthouse and it's absolutely huge. I guess I assumed we'd be parking a ways away and hiking to it, but it's mere feet off the road and easily accessible.
Please note for the record that in this picture I am wearing a hat. Please also note the overcast skies in the background in this picture:
I had been checking the weather the week leading up to our trip and saw there was a chance of rain. If the weather got bad we might not be allowed to climb. If there is lightening in the area, no one is allowed inside the lighthouse. Let's face it, it's the tallest thing in the area, has a big chunk of metal on top and metal ladders running from the top to the bottom. That's a recipe for crispy tourists. Luckily we didn't get rain. Unluckily, we got wind. Lots of it.
The following is the list of requirements and warnings from an email for our climb:
  • Weather permitting (we can not climb if there is lightning in the area).
  • Everyone climbing the tower is required to sign waivers.
  • Parents are required to sign for those under the age of 16.
  • Climbers must be at least 10 years old.
  • Sneakers or similar closed toe, rubber sole shoes are REQUIRED - absolutely NO sandals or flip-flops.
  • Climbers are required to have both hands free for climbing due to the steepness of our steps.
  • Cameras/video recorders are encouraged but must be in a back/fanny-pack or fit in a pocket/on a belt (both hands must be free).
In addition we wound up signing 3 different wavers and releases on the trip. I am sure, like me, you were wondering what the heck is up with all these rules. Well, Oak Island Lighthouse is unlike most any other lighthouse out there. Getting to the top is an adventure in itself. There are no steps going up, but ladders. Even more nerve wracking is that you can see all the way from the top to the bottom (and from the bottom to the top). I took lots of pictures inside, but the flash reason doesn't do much for you in a 150 foot tall tube.
Go to the Oak Island Lighthouse website and see their pictures.
With our group of 16 people, only about 12 opted to climb the lighthouse. After the first few sets of 17 rung "flights" the number had dwindled to about 8. No one had fallen, they just decided for one reason or another not to continue. I pushed on. I am glad I did.
Looking west down the Oak Island coast
The "back" side of Oak Island and the marshes on the sound side
Notice I am no longer wearing a hat. By the time I had climbed half way up I could tell my the sound of the wind that there's no way I'd be able to wear my hat up there. I was right. The wind was blowing steady at roughly 40 miles an hour. Our guide said it was the strongest wind he'd ever seen up there. I guess I'll need to go back one day when there isn't gale force winds!
You may be wondering about the white circle over my shoulder. That's not my hat blowing away in the distance. That's "Old Baldy" which will be the next lighthouse I visit. I know it doesn't look like a lighthouse. Here's a better picture, but the overcast skies just make it tough to see. If you click on the picture it may be easier to see.
My next post should be my afternoon in Southport and the walking History/Ghost tour of town.
For those keeping score at home, that's 1 down, 6 to go!
Krystal Lovers like hot buns.

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

 

Freaky Peeps!

Date: 3/15/2008
Time: 1:44pm
Email from: Chris
Subject: peeps
In my continuing quest to find the perfect pizza dough recipe, I stumbled upon this guy:
http://www.davesbeer.com/Pizza/
You'll find what I found hilarious towards the end.

Date: 3/17/2008
Time: 11:06am (roughly 45 1/3 hours later)
Email from: My mother
Subject: "Peeps"
There were over 800 entries in a Washington Post "Peeps Diorama Contest". There are 5 finalists and 32 semifinalists. In next Sunday's (Easter)issue they will showcase the finalists and interview the diorama creators. "A breathtaking photo gallery" will be available on line at www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/gallery/070402/GAL-07Apr02-69859/index.html
That should be interesting. Immediately thought of you when I read this.
Geeze! I feel guilty for letting my "peeps" down this year. (Scroll to the bottom of April 2007's archive for last year's Peep-o-lympics.) I figure I have 4 days til Easter, I better get to work!
What to do.... what to do....
Peeps on a Krystal? Eww, no way!
Peeps on a Chick? No, sounds like a porn movie.
Chili Cheese Peeps? Well I'd try em but I doubt they'd make em.
Aha!!! I got it! Tune in this weekend, you'll get it to!
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

 

Beggin' for a piece of that bubble?

While I don't believe there is any doubt what Sir Mix-A-Lot was talking of when he wrote Baby Got Back, I couldn't help but think recently of my favorite line
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
For I too have recently been craving a taste of Bubble. And I have Heidi to thank for helping cure my craving. Now before I get Heidi in trouble, or she punches me in the mouth, I need to explain.
About a month ago, while prowling the Internet for recipes, I stumbled upon something called "Bubble Tea."
Basically to make bubble tea, also called "boba," you need to get your hands on some monster tapioca pearls. It is at this point that most folks will stop reading.
I had no idea how many people on Earth don't like tapioca. I happen to love tapioca pudding, cold or warm, but especially warm. It's yummy and fun. So rather than the tapioca pearls scaring me off, they lured me in. Since I don't drink coffee or tea of any kind, including the various Asian teas, I sort of lost interest after the part about the tapioca pearls.
When we had finished eating our Korean barbecue, Heidi then wanted to go visit a local Korean Bakery called Shilla Bakery. Since I really had no idea there was such a thing I figured it would be interesting to see. On the way over she mentioned they made bubble tea, and I got excited. I figured if the Korean barbecue didn't kill me, then a little bubble tea wouldn't either.
Shilla bakery was amazing. Just inside the front door are shelves upon shelves of Korean baked good. Personally the thought of a green bean pastry doesn't do much for me, but they seemed to be selling well. After a few minutes looking over the pastry selection it was time to get down to boba business. While scanning the menu I noticed that, in addition to coffee and tea types of drinks they also made very fruity drinks. The first one to catch my eye was "Sour Green Apple."
I am a sucker for sour green apple flavored stuff. Green Jolly Ranchers and Midori sours are tops on the list. Oh I was hooked. We placed our order and went to grab a table that had luckily opened just as we started to look. The placed was packed even at 10 at night.
After a few minutes our number was called and we went to retrieve our beverages. Heidi got a mocha type of drink. Mine was a neon green frozen Slurpee looking concoction with black tapioca pearls in the bottom. The pearls are about the size of a small grape. You also quickly notice the straw. It's huge. You could easily get your little finger stuck in the end of the straw. It has to be that big so you can slurp the tapioca up the straw along with your drink.
Once I got back to Wilmington, I decided I simply HAD to find a place near here to get Bubble Tea. While we don't have nearly the Asian population of DC, I figured if bubble tea was as popular as I had been reading there simply had to be a place. Lucky for me, there is one place: "Pop Taste Bubble Tea Hut" in the Independence mall, just around the corner. I have already been once so I could get a few pictures (and of course get another sour green apple bubble tea!)
You can barely see the 2" layer of tapioca on the bottom of the cup.
Here you can vaguely see several of the black tapioca pearls as they slowly slide back down the straw. Depending on how deep your straw is in the cup will determine how much tapioca you get in each slurp. Once you've slurped up a few you chew on them for a bit. They have a gummy chewy texture and are very sweet, since they are usually covered with a sugar syrup. The best I can relate it is it's like tiny gummy bears at the bottom of a Slurpee.
Here's a few of the tapioca pearls I dug up to the top of my drink. You'll notice they're not black anymore. Pop taste cooks the boba and serves them immediately. If they cooked them and then chilled them down slowly they would hold their black color better. Also, after a long time sitting at the bottom of my frozen drink they started getting harder. This is do the the particular variety of tapioca. You can find out ALL about Boba at Bubble Tea Supply who appear to be the Internet Kings of Bubble Tea supplies.
I also saw that in addition to the boba they also have "jelly cubes" instead. I can only assume the jelly cubes would hold up better in the frozen drinks. I guess I'll just have to experiment. I suspect there's a few more trips to Pop Taste in my future. I would ask the lady behind the counter, but it is clear she doesn't really speak any English.
So the bottom line, here, is for you to go out, find some Bubble Tea, and give it a try! It's way yummy! I mean even Sir Mix-A-Lot has been begging for some. You will, too!
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

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