The Adventures of Krystal Kid: BCCBA

Thursday, July 27, 2006

BCCBA

If you haven't been over to the Krystal Lovers VIP Lounge over at Krystal.com you should go. Tiffany announced it the other day on Krystal-Lover blog (which now has a rather interesting post about Krystal and the Beastie Boys). To get to the VIP Lounge go to Krystal.com and look up at the top. You have to have an ID to get in, but you can get a special visitor permit to just look around. (I talked to the bouncer and he agreed he'd let ya in, just tell em Jason sent ya!)
Over in the VIP lounge there's message boards and you can get your own profile and send messages and post pictures and all sorts of stuff. You can even talk to Jennifer and Kenny from Krystal HQ.
One of the polls put up at the beginning was "What's the best Chili Cheese Item?" The choices were a rather interesting selection: Chili Cheese Fries, Chili Chees Pup, Chili Cheese Scrambler, Chili Cheese Coffee, Chili Cheese Stuffed Pie. All sound good but of course lots were missing. I then pondered on what it would be like to put Chili and Cheese on a BA Burger. Kenny came back and agreed. I frankly don't know if anyone had ever done it before, but I decided I had to do it. Yesterday was the day.
After a particularly icky day at work I was glad to roll up to my favorite eating spot. I walked up to the counter to place my order. With it being summertime, Krystal has hired some new faces who don't exactly know who I am or why I act so strange when I go in. Anyway, I informed the girl at the register that I was going to "get crazy!"
I told her I wanted to get the BA Combo. No problem on that. BUt then I started getting nutty.
"No mayo, no tomatoes." "OK, what else?" "Add Bacon, add Cheese." "Alright." "Add chili." "What?"
I had to explain I wanted a Bacon, Chili, Cheese, BA Burger. I then had to tell her that the chili was "on the pups menu." (If you zip back to one of my older posts you can see where I learned that trick.)
Now I wish there was a better name for the burger. I tried every abbreviation I could think of, the best one I could find was the BABCC (pronounced "Bab Sees") but thats no good. I though about "The Holy Crap Burger" but with the word "crap" so close to the word "burger" I doubt Kenny or Tiffany or Jennifer would ever let that go by. Similarly I felt "The Oh My God Burger" would be a problem for religious reasons.

Didja catch it? Whats that in the background? Is that me? well HECK YEAH it is. After placing my order, she loaded me up with my Coke and as she slid it over to me, I look down right at my own smiling face. I look up at her and said "That's my cup!" To this she replied "Yes." Apparently she took it as a question, not a statement. I picked the cup, held it to the side of my face and explained "This is me." She then got it. She was quite amused. I then asked if she hadn't recognized me from my picture hanging on the wall in the dining room and she said I looked familiar but she wasn't sure.
I went to grab my seat and wait for it to be delivered. She stopped on the way to the table to grab a big pile of napkins. She explained the burger looked good but looked VERY messy. The best burgers always are.

Let me assure you, no matter how long you look at that picture and no matter how good your imagination is you cannot imagine how good that burger was. Warm juicy burger, melty cheese, hot chili, crisp back and cold lettuce in the middle. The pickles, ketsup and mustard holy CRAP that was good.
My advice is to eat it there, don't take it on the road. If you eat it in the car, you're gonna have to sell your car cause you'll NEVER get all the chili out of the seat, carpet, dashboard, radio, gearshift, glovebox, etc. By the time you get it home, the lettuce will have gotten wilty and the whole "hot/cold" mix would simply be one big "warm." So get your BA butt to Krystal and get yourself a Holy Crap Burger. Or something like that.
Holy Crap Burger™ and Oh My God Burger™ are trademarks of KrystalKid Inc. Krystal Lovers like hot buns.