The Adventures of Krystal Kid: Bad Dog!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Bad Dog!

First off, Krystal is apparently reworking their Chik'n Bites. I am excited by this because about 8 or 12 months ago they reworked their Chiks and they got bigger, crispier, and much much tastier. I have never been excited by the Chik'n bites, personally, but I suspect kids probably go for em. Of course, I happen to make the world's best chicken nuggets based on a top secret family recipe. No you can't have it.
On the Krystal Lover's Lounge they're asking their fans to help pick a name for the reworked crispy chicken peices. Much like their poll for renaming their frozen Cokes, they chose to give a few names and we pick from the list. That's probably a good idea, since my first suggestions would have been: "Chik'n Pox" Sadly, that's only funny to people my age and older. Apparently kids don't get chicken pox anymore. Too bad, since that was always a few days out of school.
Their choices on the web site are: Chik'n Dippers, Chik'n Dunkers, Chik'n Tots, Chik'n Dip'ns, NEW Chik'n Bites.
Personally I think using the word "Tots" is just a bad idea. Along with using the word "Nibbles" is just BEGGING for people to substitute a letter and suddenly you have a "milk out the nose" level joke you'll never be able to get people to stop calling them. Since the current ones are perfectly spherical, I am thankful they didn't go with "Chik'n balls" as well. Now while we're dicussing bad names for food, I have a new one tonight.
First off, let me say up front I have never been to Philadelphia, but given all I have seen or heard I don't think I ever want to. Emily's Toybox, who live a little ways outside of Philly, have a song on their latest CD that clearly gives their views on Philly. I can't put the title here, as it is as far from kid-friendly as it gets.
Philadelphia sports fans are notoriously poor sports. I recall a Flyers game on TV as the first time I ever saw an entire crowd get censored. There's a miserable trend at hockey games that when the visiting team's starting line up is being announced the home team fans yell "Sucks!" after each opposing player is announced. And then when they announce the coach they yell "He sucks too!" Well ESPN has a Flyers game on TV and while the comentators were doing their pre-game thing, the visiting team was being announced in the background. The Philly fans were so loud yelling "Sucks!" that it disrupted the announcers and they eventually killed the crowd mic.
Perhaps the only good thing to come out of Philadelphia is: The Philly Cheesesteak. I absolutely love em. And before you ask, yes I have made a Philly CheeseKrystal. I don't think it ever made the blog, but it was good. Also, the new Krystal on Brainer Rd in Chattanooga has a Philly Cheesesteak Toaster that I reviewed Back in February.
Just around the corner from me is a place called J. Michael's Philly Deli. It's a rather long name and there's usually a rather long line. Tonight I figured I'd phone in an order, and see how their cheese steak is. I got the small cheesesteak, add mushrooms, and some fries on the side. It was all very good. The fries were excellent. I believe the only 3 stores are in Wilmington, though, so unless you're from around here or visiting, I guess you just have to trust me.
As I was scanning the menu, though, I saw something rather disturbing:

Right there in the middle is something called a John's Island Hot Dog. It's a dog with peanut butter, mayo, and onions on it. REVOLTING!!
I must admit, I had a fraternity brother in college who put peanut butter on hot dogs. He also put it on bologna sandwiches. I just kind of figured since he didn't grow up in the US he missed something in the translation. Needless to say I couldn't sit beside him while he ate it.
I also had another fraternity brother who put mayo on his hot dogs. His logic was almost valid. He said you put mayo on turkey, roast beef, or ham sandwiches. You put it on hamburgers. So he figured if it was meat and bread it was fair game. I started to come up with a list of meat and bread combos that DO NOT qualify for mayo, but instead I moved so I didn't hurl. We already know I find mayo to be rather nasty. Warm mayo is even worse. In fact I am getting ill thinking about it.
As if it couldn't get any worse, this guy actually makes peanut butter hot dogs. (Yeah, they're from PA.)
I have searched the web for this "John's Island" in South Carolina and perhaps the background on how they came up with this insane idea. I have found nothing. There is apparently a John's Island, but no one there seems to want to take the blame for this hot dog. So now I am left to wonder: did someone in South Carolina REALLY come up with this? Are the people at J. Michael's trying to give their insane creation some artifical clout? Did some guy from Philly decide to create a disgusting food item and then blame it on the south, because people in Philly are jerks like that?
Of course if you look up a bit you'll find yet again those crazy Carolinians putting slaw on top of strange stuff. In Georgia, apparently all it takes to make something "Carolina Style" is to drop a big spoonfull of cole slaw on it. Seems people up here believe that too.
Speaking of hot dogs. I believe the closest dining establishment to where I live is Trolly Stop hot dogs over on Fountain Dr. I actually had read a little bit on this place when I was still in Macon, which was hard since they don't have a web site. Here's the best I can do: A review from some guy in Baltimore and A review in a local online magazine. I will try and get a picture of their menu one day so you can see just how many ways there are to do a hot dog. I usually go with the American (onions, mustard, chili) and add cheese. The fries are always good too. They also have a place downtown, about 3 blocks from the downtown campus I'll be teaching at on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Can anyone say LUNCH!?!? Krystal Lovers like hot buns.