The Adventures of Krystal Kid: Stuffing Stuff

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Stuffing Stuff

With the release of my Krystal Secret Stuffing recipe, I have been keeping a watchful eye out for stuffing related things. And I have a small batch of them for you this morning.
First, I found this article in the paper yesterday. This is most certainly not what Thanksgiving Stuffing is about. Man accused of trying to force wife into oven on Thanksgiving Now there's actually a Krystal Koincidence in there too. The events took place in Conyers, which is where I grew up and first ate Krystals. I would be willing to bet that had they made Krystal Stuffing for Thanksgiving this would never have happened. Krystals are all about love and happiness and fun, not about stuffing your estranged wife in the oven while your five kids watch. I always knew Krystals were the answer to world peace, but they may also be the cure for domestic violence. I think a study is in order.
Next up, I have gotten a few reports of Krystal Stuffing being made around the country. One report comes in from New York. How do they get Krystals in New York? Well sadly, they don't. White Castles had to be substituted. Normally this would cause shock and outrage amongst those of us in Krystal Kountry, but I believe it was Crosby, or Stills, or Nash, or perhaps Young who said it best: "If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with." A+ for effort!
I mentioned the other day that I saw something at the Krystal in Byron, but wanted to get a picture of it before I posted it here. Well yesterday I took the camera and went way over to Byron to take care of it. As you may recall, I was going to hit the drive thru quick on my way to work. As I pull up to place my order I look up to see this:

Click for a full size view.Now obviously I am not the guy in the picture! I have lots of friends who keep asking why I'm not any of the Krystal ads or on any of the Krystal Komercials. This ad is sure to push them over the edge. I keep trying to tell them I'm to big old and scary looking to put on TV. Have you SEEN the young hotties they put on the commercials? I'm not at all jealous, however. You see, I had chili cheese pups on Thursday. And as I keep trying to tell you people, Chili Cheese Pups cure jealousy (and lots of other things too!)
I actually see the ad as a good thing. People will see supercutemodelguy and start trying to find out where they can get his Stuffing recipe. That will eventually lead them here. After the initial shock upon learning that I am not supercutemodelguy, they'll realize that Krystal Stuffing is awesome and they will realize that supercuteness isn't everything. They'll also find my Krystal Pizza recipe and their world will be a better place. Krystals are all about love and happiness and fun, not stalking supercutemodelsguys on the internet because you think they can cook.
Now, what does need to happen is I have GOT to get that sign! I am fairly certain that Jennifer, the silent partner over at Krystal Lover blog could get me one since she's apparently the queen of all in store advertising. However, that seems to be cheating to me. I think since I am the head of the Krystal Adventure Acquisitions Department I should try and get the actual sign from the Byron store. No, not by stealing it!
This coming week I will take a box and a cup to the Byron store and see if I can convince them to let me have it when they are done with it. The cup and box are to prove that I am the true Krystal Stuffing guy. I am sure they'll be expecting supercutemodelguy to be the stuffing king. I have checked 4 other Krystals in the area and none have that sign posted. And with Thanksgiving over, I expect they may be disappearing soon. So if you want to see it, hit the Bryon, GA drive through. And while you're there, tell em you know the Krystal Stuffing guy and he wants that sign!! And get something tasty while you're there, too! Krystal Lovers like it steamy.