Saturday, December 06, 2008
The Pirate Solution
| My solution to the current rash of pirate problems worldwide actually starts with my parents. My mother wants to go on a cruise. She's wanted to go for years. My father is hesitant. I suspect that, as a retired Marine, he's already been on plenty of "cruises." All expenses paid by Uncle Sam. But rather than all you can eat five star dining, he ate "chow" off an aluminum tray. Rather than luxury staterooms with balconies, he was stacked 5 high in bunks with a lot of other smelly Marines. That is certainly not what you see advertised on the TV commercials for Carnival Cruises or Royal Caribbean. I can understand his hesitation. When I was hearing reports of pirates attacking ships on the open sea, I wondered, like everyone else, why no one was there to defend them. Who would protect all those ocean going vessels? Well the answer came to me immediately: The Marines. As you saw in my last post, they've done it before. It's really the obvious choice. While the Marine Corps today seems to be everywhere doing everything around the world, their true roots were very simple: provide support and protection for United States Navy ships. Thus the name: Marines. The earliest Marines were trained as Naval Sharpshooters. In fact if you get a good look at the "cover" (hat) of an Marine Officer's dress uniform you'll see a strange ropelike symbol called a quatrefoil. You can sort of see them here. In the early days of Naval warfare, you didn't want to be down on deck fighting and have one of your own Marine sharpshooters raining bullets on you. So the simple elegant solution was to gather some rope (always handy on board a ship) and put the braided rope design on top of your head for them to see. More or less a "Don't Shoot" signal to those who aim from above. Almost everything on a Marine's uniform has a history and tradition. That happens to be one of my favorite. So with the thought that Marines are bred to defend ships at sea, it is the obvious choice to defend our ships against pirates. The problem is, there are not a lot of Marines on active duty (thus "The Few, The Proud") and those that are have been tied up in other conflicts for over a decade. But then it hit me: I realize that simply putting Retired Marines on board a ship isn't going to stop some attacks, so we need to "sweeten" the deal. Marines who bring their own rifle on board get free ammo for the entire cruise. Marines may also rent firearms on board the ship if they desire. Of course there will have to be rules. Rifles will have to be secured when not in use. Shooting under the influence will not be tolerated. Shooting will only be allowed from designated areas and during designated times. Also, you may only shoot at other vessels that have been deemed a threat by the Captain. Can you imagine the joy that would go through the entire ship when the public address system comes on: "This is your Captain speaking. Leathernecks, please report to the Lido deck, with your firearm. We have potential pirates off the port side." What do you think Punjab the Somali pirate will be thinking when 300+ old angry Marines pop up out of portholes, balconies, and over the railings with more guns than the entire Somali Army? I don't want to leave the other services, or their veterans out. If this program proves successful, I think every serviceman should be given a free cruise upon their separation from the service. Heck, you could even load the ship up with doctors and nurses and psychologists to help those recently out of the war zone with any post traumatic problems or health issues they may have. I know that some of the pirates are bringing in heavy artillery that may have a longer range than the typical rifle. So we can allow government contractors to come on board and demonstrate their latest weapons technology. Let the soldiers on board try them out, offer suggestions, and see the future of combat. Akbar the pirate in his fishing boat probably won't last very long with Marines and laser guided shoulder launched high explosive rockets taking pot shots at him. Yes, I know some will say we can have armed civilians running rampant off the coast of Africa. What exactly do you think the pirates are? On the contrary, the UN has given any country the right to send armed vessels into Somali waters with advanced notice. If the pirates are dumb enough to come into international waters, then it's fair game. There is no need to fear. The reason pirates get away with what they are doing is that no one appears to have any real authority in international waters. As soon as an organization steps forward and claims authority, they should begin with the pirates. Should this idea catch on, I fully expect there to be cruise ships lined up bow to stern along the Somali coast, just waiting for anyone to dip a toe in the water. Cargo and other ships will start to actively recruit Marines and arm them for "ride alongs." The tide will turn for the pirates. (Yes, pun intened.) Fish carefully, my friend. There's a death ship anchored off the coast and it is full of armed, dangerous, angry men. Try not to look like a pirate. So tell me, what cruise sounds like more fun: Pirate Hunting or Whale Watching?  |
