Monday, December 22, 2008

 

Lessons learned from Christmas with Sean

My first stop of Jason's 2008 Christmas Tour was Jacksonville, Fl to visit with my friend Courtney and her son Sean. Unlike last year, I was only able to spend one day with them, due to work commitments. But heck, one day is better than none, and since I had a huge pile of Christmas presents to deliver, it was worth it for postage alone!
Since I only had one night in town, the Christmas presents were rolled out very early. Last year's presents were more or less a crap shoot. This time I had an entire year to plot and plan. The stakes were higher. (Of course the steaks from Ruth's Chris last year probably set an unmatchable standard.) I had never really done a Christmas for a 4 year old. Sure I have 3 nephews, but usually I can get away with gift cards. Not so this year. When it was all said and done I learned a few very valuable lessons that hopefully you can benefit from this Christmas and beyond:
Lessons #1: Don't spend a lot of time wrapping the presents. Four year olds don't care.
Lesson #2: Do not use clear packing tape on the boxes. It slows four year olds down and is a real bummer.
Lesson #3: After the 3rd box of "bathroom coordinates" even a four year old catches on. And no matter how many times you say "Hey look! Monkeys!" You'll never get their attention. (Until Courtney pulls out the secret hidden Transformers.)
Lessons #4: Bubble wrap and styrofoam packing peanuts trump monkey bath coordinates and Transformers.
Lessons #5: Courtney likes monkeys just as much as Sean, but she's not easily distracted by styrofoam packing peanuts or Transformers. (She did have to take a minute to pop some bubble wrap.)
I have also come to the conclusion that Courtney is either the greatest actress on Earth or she doesn't REALLY read my blog. With each box of monkey bathroom stuff that Sean opened, Courtney seemed genuinely surprised and excited. Despite the fact that I had made no less than 3 "monkey bathroom coordinates" phone calls to her and made two blog posts here and here, Courtney never wavered in her surprise.
I choose to believe that I am the king of smooth and pulled off the best Christmas surprise ever. And there's nothing you or anyone can do to convince me otherwise.
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

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