Saturday, September 20, 2008

 

In Search Of... Britt's

So you go looking for Britt's on your own and like most people you can't find it. Or perhaps you're luck enough to find it, yet it's closed, like what happened to the guy in my previous post. Now the only thing keeping your from a delicious donut is time.
Maybe they'll open in a few minutes or hours? Maybe they'll open tomorrow? Maybe they'll open in a few months? Maybe they'll open next season? You don't know, but you'll wait. We all do. And we don't complain, so stop your yappin!
However, here at Krystal Adventure, I won't make you wait. OK, I did make you wait one day, but no one was yappin, so here we go. Here's a wonderful success story (that takes a rather disturbing turn at the end):

If the video above doesn't play Click here
A couple of minor notes on the video. The first place he parks is not Britt's parking lot. Britt's doesn't have a parking lot. In fact, where he parks is a no parking zone. You'll get towed.
Second, the "bumper sticker" he intends to put on his laptop will leave him disappointed. It's not a bumper sticker, it's a static sticker meant to go on glass. I have one. It won't stick on my laptop. Well it'll stick on the screen but that gets in the way a little bit.
Last May, one of my co-workers, Melissa, who grew up here, was talking about Britt's Donuts. My ears perked up. She had been planning to head down there and take her son who is a Britt's addict. She offered to show me the way, like Moses. On graduation day, we made our way down to Carolina Beach. The location has now been logged into my GPS so I'll always be able to get back there. We then plugged some change in the meter and went off to see the Wizard.
Britt's only sells one donut. They are proud of it. Lots of people suggest they expand, at least to chocolate covered donuts. After 70 years in business, maybe the folks at Britt's know what they're doing. Of course I wish they'd add orange juice to the menu. They've got room.
Since Melissa had brought me for my first trip to Britt's she offered to buy my first donut. After that I was on my own. (I soon found out why you don't offer to buy more than one.)

My first Britt's Donut
After you've had one bite, you're hooked. I am certain the Health Department wouldn't let them put crack in their donut glaze, but something in it just hooks you. You want more. You want more now.
I ordered three more. And a refill on my ice water.
I made several more trips to Britt's Donuts this past summer. I ate a lot of donuts. I even drove the 20-30 minutes south to Britt's to pick up donuts and then drive 2 hours north to take them to my parents, where my grandmother, sister in law and nephews all awaited my arrival. They pretended they were waiting for me, but I knew they were waiting for the donuts. I was greeted at the door, not with "How are you?" or "How was the drive?" but instead with "Where's the donuts?"
Amy, the Krispy Kreme junky refused to judge Britt's as better than Krispy Kreme. I drew the yellow card because the donuts I brought were not hot. Then I drew the red card because I didn't bring Krispy Kreme donuts for a true head to head comparison. I think she fails to understand the logistical nightmare of bringing Britt's Donuts to someone.
If you are getting donuts "to go" you automatically double whatever you thought you'd need. Otherwise you arrive with a dozen that only last 45 seconds, and everyone hates you for ONLY bringing a dozen.
Then once you have placed your order to go, you need to add an additional 2 or 3 donuts. In a separate bag. This is often referred to as "The Britt's Buffer." You need these 2 or 3 donuts to eat on the road, and keep you away from the dozen or two you are to bring back.
In reality, I don't need Amy to confirm these are the best donuts ever. It's already been confirmed. This past summer, a guy who runs a donut blog, called, appropriately enough, The Blognut. (Shouldn't there be an H in there somewhere?)
Anyway, this past summer, a donut debate arose as the Blognut ranked America's Best Donuts. This was also apparently picked up on the national level as well.
I know Britt's is only ranked #2. However I have a problem with a donut made out of potatoes, a "Ponut" or perhaps "Potatonut." Am I to put butter or gravy on it? Dip it in ketchup? Maybe some sour cream and chives with bacon bits? (mmmmm Bacon)
So if you come visit Wilmington we can go down to Britt's. I'll buy your first donut, but you have to buy your own after that. If you come NOW, however, we'll have to go to Krispy Kreme and imagine we're eating Britt's. And in that case, you're buying me my first one, or at least some orange juice.
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

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