Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Oh what a difference a year makes.
| It's now solidly into March and we've just passed midterms at school. I realize no one is shocked when I say I am not like most people. Most folks have big parties on their birthdays and use New Years Even as a time of reflection (and also as an excuse to have a big party). I don't make a big deal out of New Years, but my birthday is a time of reflection and self evaluation. I try and take that time to look at where I've been, where I am, and where I am going. This year, while looking back on the past year I almost cannot believe where I am compared to where I was last year. In fact March of last year was a month of great "flux." My job had gotten as bad as I felt it could ever get. I was desperately clawing to find a way out. Then suddenly in a period of roughly 2 weeks everything started changing faster than I cold keep up with. In a span of 2 weeks I had to job interviews, 3 road trips, and a lot of decisions. Saturday I went to Jacksonville for hockey and to visit Courtney. Sunday I drove home. Monday I drove to Brunswick for an ETB concert. Tuesday I drove home. Thursday I left work and immediately drove 9 hours to Wilmington. My job interview was at 10:30am on Friday morning, and I left immediately afterwards for the 9 hour drive home. I look back on where I was and where I am now and honestly can't put into words what I feel. But perhaps pictures can help. When I was working on the base, my classroom had no windows, which didn't help with temperatures rising to 80+ some days. If you were lucky enough to find a window it usually had a grand view of a bland Cold-War era airplane hangar. Really not the most inspiring and uplifting sights to see. In my new job (on Mondays and Wednesdays) I can look out the classroom windows and see the river. I can walk to the end of the hall, where we have an open stairwell and here is what I see:I am five floors up and a block off the river. Any time I see the view I have to catch my breath, not from the heights but from the sheer beauty. Koincidence isn't THIS good, and I am not THIS lucky. The only way I can make sense of this in my own head is that I have been brought to this point in my life and in this place simply by the blessing of God. But that then leaves me wondering "Why?" I know I don't deserve this. I have never really been a model person. The best I can come up with is there's something in my future. I must be a domino in the sequence of someone else's life. I can't imagine what or when, so I guess I just have to wait, and do the best I can, and keep my eyes open, and live. And the best word I can used to describe that is "faith."  |
Labels: Wilmington
