Friday, February 08, 2008
What's in a name?
Something new is coming to Krystal. But it needs a name. Tiffany posted this request up on the forum at Krystal Lover's Lounge a week or so ago. They've come up with a new sandwich and are taking name suggestions: Product Description: Its a 100% Black Angus beef chuck patty with melted swiss cheese and onions on mini toast.Obviously you can see the mini toast, the Black Angus beef chuck patty, the swiss cheese and the onions. But if you look a lot closer you'll find something that is NOT one of those four items. I can clearly see a yellowish and a whiteish color. I will assume the yellow color is Krystal's delicious mustard. While I personally would never have thought to put mustard on this sandwich, I wouldn't kick it I hate mayo. In fact hate is not really strong enough of a word. They need to make up a new word to describe my level of hate. Abhor, detest, despise, loathe, spurn, they all fail to reach the level of hate I feel towards mayo. Sadly it appears there may be mayo on this new sandwich. Either than or that's marshmallow fluff. (And yes, I'd prefer marshmallow fluff on my hamburger before I'd go for mayo.) Currently "The Krystal Melt" seems to be the favorite. It's short and sweet and to the point. There are also a lot of other suggestions trying to come up with creative abbreviations. The problem with doing the abbreviations is that it's just too complicated. I am quite sure Tiffany and Kenny know of the fable "elevator pitch." The idea is that if you are in an elevator with an executive, you have literally seconds to pitch your idea to the captive executive audience before one or the other of you gets out of the elevator. Often it is over simplified to a certain number of sentences or less. This is the reason that The Fair Tax, despite being a brilliant solution to the US Tax problem, will never pass. It takes too long to explain it to people. (The flat tax is not as good as the Fair Tax, but it's easily explained so it caught on quickly.) When I was teaching at Mercer I had a few theory classes and those tests often included long answer/essay questions. The problem with those is that some student who does not know the answer go with the idea that if they just keep writing they will either accidently stumble over the answer I am looking for, or I will get tired of reading it and give them credit. At one time I was working on a scheme that would allot a certain number of words for the entire test (5000 words?) and the student had to "spend" his words carefully among the various questions. Perhaps one day I'll revisit that idea. Speaking of revisiting, lets get back to the new sandwich, shall we? Being the sarcastic trouble maker I am, I have thrown a suggestion into the mix: The K-swiss, short for Krystal with Swiss. Of course I am unsure if Krystal's legal department is ready for the lawsuit they'd certainly get, and if they somehow were able to keep that name, you know people would compare the sandwich to a tennis shoe. And while we're at it, why do most tennis shoes have holes on the sides for ventilation, but K-SWISS, the one shoe that SHOULD have holes, does not? I have spent the last week dreaming about the deliciousness that is a BA burger. For those that missed it, you can see the ultimate example of what a BA can BE when I created the Holy Crap Burger™ and Oh My God Burger™ a year and a half ago. That post will also give you a glimpse into why abbreviations for foods are not a very good idea. If the cashier has to explain what the item is to the customer, then quite simply the item won't sell. History is flooded with products that simply wouldn't sell because of the name. So I start to think about what is really IN this new sandwich. I have to get past the whole Black Angus thing. First of all, the lead guitarist for AC/DC, Angus Young is not black, nor does he do any cattle ranching that I know of. He's certainly not Swiss either. After I got over that headache, I got back to work. Then the idea suddenly hit me from three directions at once. Its ground beef Chuck, right? And everyone knows Chuck is another name for Charles. I don't know WHY it is, but it is. I know this because in college, my fraternity big brother, Rich, believed my roommate, Brian looks like Charlie Brown, so Rich always called Brian "Chuck." (Brian was not amused.) There is also, of course the commercials for Charles Schwab that advise you to "Ask Chuck" or "Talk to Chuck." There's also everyone's favorite wine, Charles Shaw, or "Two Buck Chuck". Now Charles is a more grown up, almost stuffy name. We all know Krystal is far from stuff, and always young at heart, so Charles just won't do. But Charley will! (Or Charlie, Charlee, or whatever.) It's cute, it's fun, and it’s playful. But it's now so far from where we started, the elevator pitch will need at least 18 floors. But wait, there's more! What's the big difference between a BA Burger and a Krystal? OK, sure there are a lot of them: square vs. round, the meat, the toppings and of course the size. But the important one is the fact that unlike every other Krystal sandwich, the BA Burger is grilled. Char grilled. wait for it. YOU GOT IT! The Charrley |
Labels: Cheese, Mercer, Onions
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Alright Mr. "5,000 words." You are cheating your own rules by placing all of those links in you post. Sheesh! It took FOREVER to get through this post! Say nothing of all of your words!
Let me see if I can condense your post:
"Something new is coming to Krystal. But it needs a name. Tiffany posted this request up on the forum at Krystal Lover's Lounge a week or so ago. They've come up with a new sandwich and are taking name suggestions."
"What's the big difference between a BA Burger and a Krystal? OK, sure there are a lot of them: square vs. round, the meat, the toppings and of course the size. But the important one is the fact that unlike every other Krystal sandwich, the BA Burger is grilled. Char grilled.
wait for it.
wait for it.
YOU GOT IT!
The new sandwich should be named:
The Charrley"
Just picking on you, Mr. 5,000 words.
The Charrley makes sense to me, but seems a little too nondescript. Charles and Charrley are a little...pedestrian. We want the name to be unique! Like KRYSTALS!
I will meditate on this.
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Let me see if I can condense your post:
"Something new is coming to Krystal. But it needs a name. Tiffany posted this request up on the forum at Krystal Lover's Lounge a week or so ago. They've come up with a new sandwich and are taking name suggestions."
"What's the big difference between a BA Burger and a Krystal? OK, sure there are a lot of them: square vs. round, the meat, the toppings and of course the size. But the important one is the fact that unlike every other Krystal sandwich, the BA Burger is grilled. Char grilled.
wait for it.
wait for it.
YOU GOT IT!
The new sandwich should be named:
The Charrley"
Just picking on you, Mr. 5,000 words.
The Charrley makes sense to me, but seems a little too nondescript. Charles and Charrley are a little...pedestrian. We want the name to be unique! Like KRYSTALS!
I will meditate on this.
# posted by 
: 9:11 PM
: 9:11 PM << Home
