The Adventures of Krystal Kid: The Bee tries to beat the K

Saturday, February 02, 2008

The Bee tries to beat the K

Many years ago when the first Applebees opened in Conyers, it was a great hangout. Lovingly referred to as "The Bee." Then a few years later, a Chili's opened across the street and was immediatly dubbed "Gary's Olde Town Tavern." (If you don't get the joke, you need to watch more Cheers.)
I have always been fond of Applebees. When I lived in Macon, there was an Applebees just down the hill from me. Made it easy to stop by on Monday for "Steak Night." Buy a steak and get your first drink free. Sounds like a good deal to me!
Unfortunately I had a girlfriend who started working there, met her next boyfriend who tended bar there, and more or less ruined it for me. Thankfully they opened like 3 others Applebees in Macon so I could still get Steak Night.
When I moved to Wilmington I didn't see any Applebees. I found it strange for such a big city to be without Your Neighborhood Bar and Grill. Then one day I found it, stuffed in between a Lowes and the Wal Mart. Not at all easy to get to, to say the least.
A few months back I made my way up to see if there was anything new going on at the Bee and to my surprise, there was. It appears Applebees is trying to hop on the Mini Burger Express. You might recall that in my last week in Macon I reviewed Rudy Tuesday's mini burgers. I figured it would only be fair to put the Bee to the test.
On the menu you'll actually find the "Mini Bacon Cheeseburgers" offered as both an appetizer as well as a full fledged burger dinner.

I haven't yet figured out why the appetizer has 4 burgers and costs like a buck more than the dinner which has 3 burgers plus a side (I paid extra for onion rings, you'll see why in a second). Call me crazy but I was always under the impression that the appetizer was something small to get you started for the meal, not to completely replace the meal.
While we're on the topic of confusing things. Maybe someone can explain to my why, when I go to the Applebees Web Page and click on the "Investors" link in the top center, I am taken to IHOP's Investor Relations page?!?! (Go quick, they may fix it someday.) Is Applebees or IHOP trying to tell us something?

The up side to the Bee Burgers is you get to customize them. But then I suppose that the downside is that you have to customize them. The bacon is nice, but that's really all you get. I had to pop the top, add my own mustard, ketchup, and lettuce. And you know that pickle spear won't fit.

It was still missing that onion flavor we know and love, so in comes the Onion Ring. It was at this point I began to wonder if it was really worth all this trouble. The answer was very simple:NoWhile the "corn meal dusted bun" was a nice touch, I'd gladly give back the corn meal if they'd just steam the bun. The burger was grilled, not steamed, and thus a bit on the dry side. (Grilling tiny burgers dries them out before they are fully cooked.) And I hate to be picky, but where are the corners? Little burgers should have corners.
In a strange twist of alphabetical irony, I am going to have to give The Bee a Cee. I awarded bonus points because the onion rings were especially tasty and Krystal let us down this year with no Vidalia Onion Rings OR Onion Petals. The bacon was also a nice plus. But frankly the burger was weak and the bun a disappointment.
Given The Bee and Ruby T's attempts, what I think we are slowly dicovering is that the Small Hot Steamed Square burger is an "everyman" kind of burger. When you try to "Glam it up" and make it "high class," you ruin it. Lets face it, when you are going for a tasty delicious mini hamburger and the hostess seats you and hands you silverware wrapped in a cloth napkin, you're so far out of touch with reality, you'll never get back to a good burger.
And no, I have no intentions of going to try any mini burgers at Chili's. And yes they have them:

BIG MOUTH BITES*
Enjoy a serving of four savory mini beef burgers topped with applewood smoked bacon, American cheese, sauteed onions and Ranch dressing on a sesame seed buns. Served with crispy onion strings, homestyle fries and jalapeño-ranch dressing on the side.
$7.49

That sneaky old Gary is always up to something and I don't want to fall victim to his trickery. Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.