What I expect to find in Heaven

I love Ashley Judd. It's not about her acting ability. Frankly I couldn't name more than 3 of her movies of the top of my head. I can trace my love of Ashley Judd back to one very important moment in my life. The moment I first saw this:Oh yes, that's Ashley Judd (A UK graduate in French) wearing a UK Hockey jersey and nothing else. This was apparently done as a favor to one of Ashley's cousins at UK and caused a huge stir. Those schedules now go for big bucks on Ebay. They caused such a stir that UK has kept putting out schedules with famous start wearing only a hockey jersey. You can see the list (but not buy them) here. And for the record, I am now falling in love with Rebecca Gayheart, too. As I said previously, my local cable provider has a few channels on it that I really have no use for. one of which is LMN which obviously is the "Lemon Network" right? Well, no, it's the "Lifetime Movie Network." From the people who bring you the Lifetime Channel, aka "Chick-Channel" where all men are either bad or gay. It is, however, on the way to other more important channels to me so I occasionally slide through. A week or so ago I was headed to the higher channels and caught a glimpse of Jeffrey Donovan who I first noticed in the (extremely manly) show Burn notice on USA. I paused briefly and caught about 3 or 5 minutes of a movie and saw Ashley Judd was also in it. I then realized it was a "Lifetime Movie" so I went on about my business. Nothing to see here. Tonight as I was again looking for manly TV shows like Ultimate Fighting Championship or Guys Blowing Things Up, I swung through LMN (accidentally). And there she was: Ashley Judd. But now I saw something that stopped me dead in my tracks, like the half naked hockey poster. Ashley Judd was stuffing down a Cheese Krystal. How did I know it was a Cheese Krystal? The big beautiful yellow box (Red for Regular, Yellow for Cheese, and Orange for Specials). She also had a Krystal cup I'd never seen before, it may have been a coffee cup. (I don't drink coffee.) I froze. I stared at the screen. I may have licked the screen. I looked at Ashely. I looked at the Krystal. Ashley. Krystal. Ashley. Krystal. I think I may have blacked out at some point. Apparently the movie Come Early Morning was a huge hit at Sundance. That's why you have probably never heard of it. It was written by Joey Lauren Adams, who you may know from Chasing Amy or Big Daddy. I checked to see if it would be on again, figuring I could tape it and skip through the "chick parts" but it doesn't show anytime soon on my TV listings. My advice is to keep your eyes open, but unless you're a chik, don't spend too much time on LMN waiting for it to come back on or you might turn gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) As for me, I now know: When I get to heaven, all I really need is Ashley Judd with nothing but a hockey jersey and a sack full of cheese Krystals. (Bonus points if it's a Red Wings jersey and if I can get fries and a MilkQuake too.)