Scuze Me, Sonny...

Once Chris reads the title of this post, I would bet he starts laughing. In all likely hood he wont stop laughing until well past the end of this post. To understand why, we need a bit of a history lesson. Back in the summer of 1993 (or 1994?) Chris and I spent a great deal of time driving around the Atlanta area. I cannot recall why. At a gas station somewhere Chris picked up the cassette single of the song "Whoot! There it is!" (Click here for the lyrics.) Before you tell me that I spelled it wrong, let me assure you, I spelled it right. Little did we know at the time but there were two different versions of the song out there. There was also "Whoomp! There It Is!" by Tag Team. (Check it, direct it, and lets begin!) (Click Here for the lyrics.) Eventually we figured out we had a different version from what was all over the radio. Chris tracked down the correct version of the song. Those two songs went into ultra heavy rotation as we drove around Atlanta. Looking back on it, I think we're lucky we didn't get shot: two white guys cruising "Tha ATL" with the windows down, rap cranked up, drinkin our "Forty-Fours" (44oz Thirst busters from Circle K, and a whole different story). Given the choice of the two versions, however, the "Whoot" version, by a "band" called 95 South became the clear favorite. Not because of their altered version of the Lyrics, but simply for the opening line of the song: Excuse me, Sonny. You know where I can find some booty? Sadly, reading the lyrics is not half as fun or funny as hearing them. Perhaps Chris can dig out the original and get me a copy of it to post. I have searched everywhere online and been unable to find a copy that I didn't have to buy an entire album for. Fast forward to last July. As I was packing to move to Wilmington, I got an email from Chris. The subject quite simply said: Excuse me sonny... and the email contained only one thing. A very cryptic link:www.robscape.com/files/roberts_gourmet_products.phpI laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats! Apparently Chris had finally found some booty! And lots and lots of booty. I just KNEW I had to get my hands on some of that booty. I was a bit disturbed that they'd somehow gotten their hands on my Girlfriend's Booty and were now selling it to anyone who wanted it. (See the Past Products Pavilion) I filed the email away and forgot about it. Until this morning. I was up at Harry T's doing my Sunday morning grocery shopping. On my menu for the week is taco salad, so I need some tortilla chips. Normally I go with Cool Ranch Doritos, so I can yell "Ranch!" a lot. But with the new year and my attempt at being moderately healthy, I ventured down to "the other end" of the chip aisle. The end with the strange food apparently designed for hamsters. But wait. What was that?Yes, my friends I had found a secret stash of Pirate's Booty! I then exclaimed "WHOOT! THERE it is!" while dancing and pointing. (I opted not to do a booty shake for fear of being permanently banned from my local grocery store.) I suddenly forgot about RANCH and grabbed a big handful of BOOTY!! I couldn't wait to get home and tear into a Pirate's Booty (ewww). Want to see what's inside?Oh yes, I had a big bag o' booty all to myself. I decided to pour it out so I could get a good look at my booty.So how does a Pirate's Booty taste, you may be wondering? (or maybe not). It tastes pretty much like white cheddar popcorn but has the texture of corn-pops cereal. And you WILL get thirsty. (Who knew?) Since I don't eat popcorn, this won't be making it into my heavy snack rotation, but it is still quite tasty. I am now interested in trying more Booty, but sadly HT's only had Booty of the Pirate variety. Lets face it, can a man really get too much booty? I think not. Just to prove my point, I bet you can't resist clicking on one or both of the Booty-licious videos below:"Whoomp! There It Is" With one of my favorite lines "B double-O T Y! Oh, My!" "Whoot! There it is!" (Sadly, without the intro) Thank goodness this video doesn't foster any racist or sexist messages. If the stuff at the beginning is confusing, you obviously didn't like in Atlanta in the 90's while the city suffered through Freaknik. I will reserve my comments on the matter.