Friday, January 18, 2008
Any Size, Same Price
| In my recent post I mentioned how Chris and I spent a large portion of one summer cruising around Atlanta. After my post I got an email from Chris with one simple, cryptic comment: "Suddenly my bladder's full and I don't know why!" And when I say "cryptic" I mean cryptic for you, not for me. I knew immediately what Chris meant, and I also knew immediately how Chris felt. One important factor in that summer was "The Thirstbuster Game." I am not 100% sure how the "game" started or if we ever officially declared "Game On!" In fact I am not sure the rules were ever spelled out very clearly. Here is what I do recall. In the early 90's Circle K started selling beverages of many different sizes. Their big sales pitch was the same price for any sized drink. I am pretty sure it was 79 cents. The biggest drink of all was the fabled "44oz Thirstbuster." It absolutely had to be said with reverence tempered with a touch of fear and awe. While in college at Mercer I had taken advantage of the deal as we had a Circle K adjacent to campus. Let's face it: as a starving college student with little cash, a deal like that was hard to beat. Buy a Thirstbuster at lunch and it'll carry you thru late night studying. One day as Chris and I were cruising around Atlanta (again for reasons I can no longer remember) we stopped in at a Circle K for a drink. Being the wise thrifty young adventurers we were we decided we simply had to go for the 44oz Thirstbuster. If you're paying 79 cents, then why not? How could we face ourselves or each other knowing we hadn't really gotten the best deal possible? At this point you probably think the game is some sort of bladder buster game: whoever has to take a leak first loses. There was a bar not far from Mercer that did this every week. You paid a flat fee and sat at the bar drinking beer. It was all you can drink until the first person had to go to the bathroom. Since I personally find beer revolting, I find the entire set up to be laughable. My objectivity and complete disinterest has given me a different perspective, though. If people were really really serious about getting their money's worth, they'd purchase adult diapers for everyone at the bar, and then really do some serious drinking. (Might I suggest the purchase of Oops! I Crapped My Pants.) While the quest for relief did occasionally come into play, that was not the point of the game. No the original Thirstbuster game was even easier, and a lot less messy. The rule was simply this: you must buy the 44oz Thirstbuster and finish it before you get home. This quite simple rule actually bring a lot of strategy into play. Obviously the earlier in the trip you get your Thirstbuster the longer you have to drink it. So basic strategy is to buy at the first Circle K you can find. One particular trip we had at least 5 or 6 places to go by, so we felt we'd easily find a Circle K along the route. After all there are Circle K's all over the Atlanta area. Good fortune must not have been with us that day because we simply couldn't find a Circle K. In all of our discussions of Thirstbusters and getting worked up for the challenge we were getting ferociously thirsty. By the time we'd finished our last stop we were almost screaming in agony due to thirst. Finally Chris decided he knew where a Circle K was and we made a mad dash. Those Thirstbusters never stood a chance. Since we were so close to home, though, we probably wouldn't have finished our drinks in time if not for our extreme thirst. This incident lead to a change in the rules. To avoid being stranded without access to a Thirstbuster new rules state that you MUST stop at the first Circle K you see. This new rules however later caused problems. One day we were on an especially long drive. We stopped for our mandatory 44 and casually finished it off. With an empty cup in hand and half the trip left to go we decided to go for seconds. Circle K used to offer discounts on refills of ANY size. Looking back, I see where our problem came in. Forty four ounces times two is eighty eight ounces. You may think it is impossible to do the pee-pee dance sitting down but I assure you it's not. Of course the most common problem with the game was simply getting down 44oz of ice cold soda before you get home. Circling the block simply to get extra time is strictly forbidden. Many instances of brain freeze occurred. Some trips we probably needed a sump pump and a garden hose. This past Christmas while back in Conyers Chris and I did some driving around to get ready for his party. We joked on occasion about the old days of Thirstbusters and Whoot! There it is! (and Boooty) Secretly I kept my eyes peeled for a Circle K. I was shocked that I couldn't find one. My memories were that they were at every exit off I-20. It must have just seemed that way because of my near bursting bladder back then. Then, ahead, just off the interstate at the next exit, I saw it! Perched just slightly above the trees. The big red K in the big red circle. "Look!" I screamed, pointing excitedly. Chris very calmly pointed out that we were getting off at the exit after this one and there was NO WAY he was stopping. I would have protested more but I was scared Chris would hiss at me and jab me in the neck like the Dog Whisperer. Instead I stared with my nose pressed to the window as we drove past. I think deep down inside, I heard my bladder say "Thank you!" Curse you, Circle K! Curse you and your impossibly large beverages! You may have escaped from me this time, but we will meet again. And I will be ready for you!  |
