Saturday, December 08, 2007
Christmas Wrap or Christmas Crap?
| When i was little I used to love wrapping presents. Aside from the pure Christmas spirit and fun, it had geometry, sharp scissors, and a level of secrecy rivaled only by C.I.A.. Over the past few years I have avoided present wrapping for various reasons. The best one was that due to distances, gift cards were less hassle for everyone. Sadly, that excuse won't work this year. So I have all of my shopping done, and last night the wrapping party began. Wrapping paper and gift tags are not high priority items around here. I never kept much in stock. When Christmas hit, if I had to wrap any presents, I'd buy one roll, wrap anything and everything with that one roll, and that usually left scraps too small to use so I threw it all out. Sure it was bland that all of my gifts had the same paper, but at least you're getting a gift! Stop whining! For birthdays I'd just buy the wrapping paper that comes in the small, folded package you can buy on the card aisle of most grocery stores. When I moved, I knew space would be at a premium, so all of that stuff got tossed, including 3 or 4 gift bags others had given me that I planned to reuse/recycle. So last night I went out and bought the fancy 4 roll pack of Christmas wrapping paper, plus two smaller packs of tissue paper. I got my best pair of scissors and a brand new roll of tape out. I cleared off the dining table and fixed myself a beverage and got to work. Right off the bat I noticed a problem. Is it just that my memory has faded or has wrapping paper gotten really really unbearably cheap? The wrapping paper tears easier than tissue paper. And yes, recall I bought tissue paper, and I did a comparison. When I was little my mother showed me a trick for cutting wrapping paper. By holding the scissors at the right angle and holding the paper just so, you could start cutting and then just slide the scissors like a razor blade to cut all the way across. Today's wrapping paper tears easier than it cuts, so I push the scissors forward and the paper tears at a 90 degree angle. At first I thought maybe my brand new scissors weren't sharp enough, so I tried another pair. Same result. Kitchen shears? Same thing. I have not yet resorted to power tools yet, but it is tempting. I got so frustrated I quit after only wrapping half of my presents. I was left wondering what in the world has happened to good old wrapping paper. My first thought was that it's just another way those mean old Grinchy Chinese are trying to ruin Christmas. First they put lead in our toys, then they mess up wrapping paper. Then I tried to take a more mature approach to things. Perhaps this was done in the name of reducing Christmas waste. I have such fond memories of Christmas at my grandparents. Once all the ripping and tearing and screams of joy had faded, I'd look around the room at the devastation: mounds of paper that stood taller than the tree. Empty boxes strewn around the room. My grandmother and my mother digging like archaeologists for the bows so they could be reused. And then the words we hated to hear: "Alright, lets clean all this up and get it into the trash can!" While I am not Mr. Eco-Warrior, I can go along with trying to reduce waste. So I went to bed last night feeling like my wrapping paper struggle was for the greater good. That lasted until this morning. To give myself some morning motivation (since I don't drink coffee) I decided to start organizing the gifts into "Wrapped" and "Needs Wrapping." It was then, in the clear light of the day, that I realized the problem. I could clearly read the name of my mother's present through the wrapping paper. I then picked up a gift I had wrapped for my nephews and could clearly read not only the name, but the instructions, the safety warning and the UPC symbol on the box through the paper. I know you're thinking I should have used darker paper. This paper was red and blue and green. While black wrapping paper would likely have solved the problem, who has a pile of black Christmas presents under their tree? OK, so all the really bad kids will have a pile of coal, but that's a Christmas I'd rather not relive. So now I have to evaluate my situation and more importantly solve the problem:
PS To those who are getting presents from me this year, I was not playing a joke by wrapping your present enough to survive World War Three. The Chinese made me do it!  |
