Friday, November 30, 2007
Cans, Biscuits, Beer, and Keys
| I actually started this post this morning but had to run out for a few errands. If you return to my previous post on the frustration of extracting cranberry sauce from the new Oceanspary can, you'll see my friend Brian has left a comment. While he did correctly call me on the fact that "normal" folks would probably not use an expensive knife to extract their canned cranberry sauce, I must point out that I was at my parent's house, so I used my mother's knife. Even more important, though, is the fact that if I do use a table knife, it is unlikely my "I slipped and chopped off my finger" lawsuit will work very well. I am, however, still hung up on the question of why did they change it in the first place?!?!? What was wrong with the old can? So I felt I simply had to call "The Bog." That's what the Oceanspray folks call themselves. Seriously, call their 1800 number for yourselves! I spoke to Lynn and told her I had what may be the most bizarre question: Why did you change the can for the cranberry sauce? Her first response was to ask if I was having trouble and then told me exactly the same instructions printed on the side of the can: "To remove product intact, sweep a flat knife around inside edge of can, invert and shake." I told her I had done that and it didn't work so well, so now I was wondering WHY they changed it. I explained my normal way to open the cans (which I am finding is how everyone else did it, too.) Remove BOTH ends and "pop" the jelly out of the can by pushing on one end. She then replied that by doing away with the "seamed" end of the can, they saved almost 20% of the steel needed to make a can. That took a moment to process, but then it made sense. Lets pause for a moment. Do you know where the term "Baker's Dozen" comes from? Most folks know a baker's dozen is 13, but few know exactly why there is such a thing or why it has that name. After all, my box of donuts only has 12, never 13. A quick read over at Wikipedia will shed some light on it. Since the ends of the cans are "stamped" out of a sheet of metal, think of cutting out biscuits. If you cut them out in a simple grid pattern, in straight columns and rows, you get a LOT of wasted dought. Of course with biscuits, you just roll it back out and cut more biscuits. It's not that simple with steel, what's left over is wasted. By eliminating the need to "punch out" metal for one end, they can save a lot of metal. For those who now wish to ask why they didn't do that on both ends of the can, we'll all wait here for you while you figure that one out on your own. So Lynn had won me over on the whole less waste angle. She also pointed out that companies had been doing this on soup cans for years. Go check your soup cans now! In fact, I had my Botulism Chili handy and it has this kind of can. (And the nasties inside haven't distorted the can, yet.) I was still stuck on why they chose to screw up the bottom instead of the top. Sort of as I predicted she said that by sealing the top, there would be an "air pocket" at the top that would allow the sauce to slide out once you "broke the seal" with a knife. I just didn't have the heart to tell Lynn that it isn't as easy as she (and the can) make it out to be. As soon as you remove the knife, the seal will reform. Unless you leave the knife in the can while you start shaking it, which of course will produce a lot more problems. I think I'm going to try sticking a straw all the way through the sauce, extract the straw with a small "core sample" of sauce, and see if that will allow for the free removal of the sauce. Plus I get to slurp out the core sample! While Lynn's answers helped some, I found I had a whole new crop of questions.Will the cost of a can of cranberry sauce go down now that they're reducing waste in their production? (I doubt it!) Why are the instructions for removing the sauce printed right side up on the can? The instructions will only be useful AFTER the can is opened and at that point the can will be upside down. Why doesn't the can say "Open the can..." before they get all into the swirl and shake stuff? If we're going to give instructions why not give COMPLETE instructions? Why don't they sell your cranberry sauce in something other than metal cans? Yes I know the next question is: what SHOULD they put it in? I believe that if they sold "Squeezable Cranberry Sauce" like they sell "Squeezable Jelly" it would be a big hit! I know I'd buy it! Just think, you now have a better choice for something to put on your turkey sandwich! And Krystal could keep a bottle in the store for those who want to make their own Cran-Chik! And on that note, I hereby claim the Squeezy Cranberry Sauce idea! Or perhaps small "Cranberry Sauce Packets" like they have jelly in? I'd need 8 or 9 for Thanksgiving. Finally, as for Brian's excitement over the term "Church Key" I forget when I first heard the name but it was ages ago. I first heard the name from someone talking of "the old days" when you had to have one to get into your beer. Since I don't drink beer and I'm not THAT old, I couldn't really relate. I do however need it for opening cans of Sweetened Condensed Milk to make my "chocolate fudgy bon-bons." Nothing worse than opening a can of that with a can opener and the sticky sweet stuff spills and glues your can opener to the counter or worse the lid falls into the can and you'll never get it out. Lastly, though, if I didn't have a church key, how else would I open these beauties?   |
