Friday, August 03, 2007
SC Interstates stink!
| Since I've driven every inch of I-95 and I-20 in South Carolina, I am confident in saying that the interstates in South Carolina stink! What's more, I-95 is even worse than I-20. The reason I know that the problem is with the state is that you can close your eyes and still be able to tell when you enter the state. (I am not suggesting you do that if you are the one driving!) Part of the reason I-95 is so bad is that it is a major route for trucks going North-South. Since they tend to stay in the right hand lane, there are rather deep ruts in the right lane. Those ruts fill with rain (like on my drive down to Brunswick last Monday) and since the repairs are pitiful if they are even done, you have a constant "ka-THUNK ka-THUNK ka-THUNK" as you drive along. It feels like you have an unruly 10 year old behind you at the movies kicking your chair. Only it lasts for 3 hours. I was in some sort of Krystal induced dreamlike state on the drive down and didn't really notice it, but for reasons you'll soon see, it was very clear on the drive home. I left Brunswick after Jen and I had IHOP. I drove north about 80 miles to Pooler where I stocked up on Krystals. With my cache of steamy goodness in the back, I left Pooler and was in South Carolina in less than 15 minutes. (ka-THUNK ka-THUNK ka-THUNK!) I was zipping along just fine. I passed Florence, SC where I have been coutless times, and started seeing the endless signs for South of the Border, one of the biggest tourist traps on the east coast. (You have to stop there once, everyone does, but once is plenty.) As a side note, I have noticed something. When I was young, the cartoon of "Pedro" on the signs was a big fat jolly hispanic guy. Apparently in the late 80's and 90's someone decided that was "politically incorrect" and Pedro was changed to always have his Sombrero down over his face. (As if an always sleeping Pedro is a better way to represent hispanic people?) Well the new Pedro is apparently wide awake now, slightly fat, but very clearly insane. It's all in the eyes, people. 'nuff said. So as I am thinking about how good old Pedro has gone from a big fat guy, to a slim, narcoleptic, to a middleweight lunatic, I suddely see a problem ahead in the road. The car in front of me hits something that then flies up in the air like a scene from the movie Twister. I'm moving north at interstate speed, and it is moving south, at big scary object speed. My best guess is that is was a metal shower curtain rod, or some long piece of pipe. Either way, it provided a whole different sounding "ka-THUNK" as it smacked off the front of my truck. In hindsight, I am lucky I'm not dead. Had the pole been higher and on the driver's side, I might have gotten skewered. As it was, my dear Tacoma took the hit for me. Obviously I didn't stop to see what hit me. I was in the fast (less ka-thunky) lane and there were cars all over. I made my way to the next exit and pulled off to see the damage.  (This is a re-creation of the bloody scene)  Once I hit the NC/SC border (under the watchful gaze of Pedro the Psycho) I decided to open my Fanta Grape soda. Which promptly exploded, spewing grape goodness all over my shirt, my lap, the seat, the floorboard, the steering wheel, the dashboard, the roof (you get the idea). The ka-THUNKing had shaken my soda up, and those darn South Carolina road had gotten the last laugh after all. CURSE YOU South Carolina! The duct tape truck repair scene may look familiar. If you'll recall, last September, another auto incident tried to ruin my Cruise. Oddly enough that happened just prior to my first ETB concert in Brunswick. Perhaps it's good that I may not make it to Brunswick for any more ETB concerts. (More on that later!) Since I am new in Wilmington, and thus ripe for the auto repair vultures, I decided to ask around at work if they knew of any good repair men. My new school has an auto repair program and they work on cars. Sadly the last day of the semester was Wednesday, and I don't think this should wait til next semester gets rolling in 2 or 3 weeks. My boss offered to come take a peek at it as we walked over to introduce me to my new Dean. (How's that for an odd trip?) After we inspected the damage it was determined that I could probably fix it myself. I would just need a new light assembly. And with that, my new Dept. Office Administrator (a local Wilmingtonian.. Wilmingtoner.. Wilmingtony.. Wilminger.. whatever) gave me some names and numbers for local places for parts and repairs. Now, $25 later, I am waiting for my new/used front passenger side light assembly to arrive so I can put it in. Or if it's too much for me to handle, I may take it to a repair shop, or perhaps even wait and let one of our school's fine fine students install it for me. What have we learned today? -We've learned that South Carolina roads stink. -We've learned that all that dumb stuff I used to teach in my FOD and Flightline Driving Safety classes also applies on I-95. -We've learned that Pedro's yo-yo dieting has driven him mad. He's also horribly illiterate. -We also learned that you only get to drink half your grape soda in South Carolina, you wear the other half. If it wasn't for the $9.99 20oz steaks just north of Florence, I'd advise everyone to avoid SC completely.  |
Labels: Wilmington
