Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Hide and go Oink!
| This just in from Chris: "In light of your recent post, I'm changing my rap name to C-Loaf." On that note, I haven't posted this here yet, but on Memorial Day I picked up a new nickname: Snowman. (Pronounce it like "Newman" not "New-Man.") Whle I am sure there are those who will see the drug references to me being the Snowman, I almost wish that were true. Apparently, I am big, round in places, and very very very white (as in pigmentation, not race). Thus, I am The Snowman. Now after yesterday I am sure you are wondering what the Snowman was doing in Food Dog looking at ground up pigs. Well it all started as I was shopping for orange juice. I love orange juice. Many many times while I was at Mercer you'd find Nancy and I devouring Tropicana Pure Premium orange juice and Krispy Kreme donuts (chocolate covered creme filled!). I don't know my way around Food Dog yet, so I wandered around a while and eventually found this:  You might imagine, as I did, that the produce section might be pork-free. And like me, you'd be wrong. Right beside the produce section (and a long way from the meat department) you would have found these:   After my tirade about the robbery at Krystal last week, I feel I must fess up to a robbery I committed last week. I went to an all you can eat buffet with barbecue on it. There is restaurant about a mile from me called "Carolina BBQ." It has a big sign on top that says so, and it almost cause me to wreck several times last week as my eyes kept glazing over. It turns out they have an all you can eat buffet. I began to plot and plan, and last Friday, I struck. Unlike places down in Georgia, the people at Carolina BBQ never raised an eyebrow when I brought my own bottle of Scott's barbecue sauce in. The brand they had on the table was called Grill Bully. It was Ok, but not great. The secret to the all you can eat buffet is planning. Much like an amphibious assault. You'll notice they always put the salad bar between you and the real food. Salads are culinary speed bumps. The only thing on the salad bar worth a moment of time is the ranch dressing you might want to put on something that isn't green. (Ranch dressing on steak fries and potato wedges is awesome!) Sadly, some people think the best way to destroy a salad bar is to go for the crab legs. I sold seafood for years, and let me just tell you up front, you cannot eat enough crab legs to cover your costs. All the work involved just makes them too time consuming. The only way you could really cut into their profits would be to have a two man team working on the crab legs: one to eat them, and another to remove the shells. Buffets don't work like that. I was doing amazing amounts of damage to the barbecue section of the buffet, with occasional rib intermissions. But then, I saw it. Mashed potatoes. I cannot resist the pull of real mashed potatoes with brown gravy. As far as buffet busting, they're on the same level as the salad. Low cost, and very filling. And they were my downfall. Curse you, Mushy Spuds!! Thankfully, my waitress, Theresa, kept picking up my empty plates, otherwise I might have felt guilt over how many pigs had been sacrificed on the Altar of Yum. If they will let me in the door, I plan to do it again soon. I just have to find a way to get past those darned taters!  |
