The Adventures of Krystal Kid: Square Peg, Round Hole

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Square Peg, Round Hole

Obviously, Krystal has a thing for squares.

Square burgers
Square meal
square deal
Square dancing

Ok, so maybe they don't have square dancing at Krystal yet, but perhaps one day they will. And I am also quite certain my father will ask about the little girl who used to dance on the tables in the Krystal commercials.
Now here's where Krystal throws a curve. (Get it? A curve? Oh, yeah, you dont get the joke, yet.)
All my life I have heard the saying about the "Square peg" and the "Round hole." Now why the hole is round and not the peg, I do not know. However, I struggled for years to understand the problem. If the square peg wont fit in the round hole, get a bigger hole or a smaller peg. Or get a sturdy knife and whittle the corners off the peg. But then I always was one to think outside the box (square, whatever).
Well, somehow, thru the power of the Krystal the square peg round hole situation has been resolved. At breakfast.
OK, run to Krystal right now (while they're still serving breakfast) and order a Sausage Gravy Scrambler combo. It comes with a side of Kryspers or a biscuit. Get the biscuit. Also order a Sunriser on the side. Or, you could just enjoy mine:

The first thing you'll notice is that the biscuits are square. While that's kind of funny, there's a purpose. When they bake them, more can fit into the pan if they're square. (please refer to your geometry books for details). Obviously the sunriser is square. But here's where the squares and circles start to get confused.
The sausage gravy scrambler comes in a bowl, a ROUND bowl. And yet, we have shown the biscuits are square. The scrambler is made by placing half the square biscuit on the bottom of the round bowl, then putting sausage on top of that, and then a heavy helping of real sausage gravy. Finally the square biscuit top if placed last. So yes there are squares in the circle.
Now let's back up and address the sausage.
The Sunriser is square and that means the egg, cheese and sausage on it are also square. Square Eggs? Well that's another story. The square sausage is the important part. Krystal has square sausage.

But you'll notice they don't use square sausage in their Sausage Gravy Scrambler. They go through all the trouble of wedging a square biscuit into a round bowl yet they use a round sausage, when square sausages are readily available. Why would Krystal go through all of that geometric insanity for you?
To show that Krystal has mastered not only the mini-burger world, but the world of geometry. So take that Pythagoras! (And for the record, I have been called a square on more than one occasion in my life.) Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.