Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Krystal Kruise
| So it appears I have saved up so many hours of annual leave at work that they have more or less ordered me to take some time off. I figure taking a few days off to sit on the sofa and watch The Price Is Right, while a lot of fun, would be a huge waste. My coworkers offered many different ideas on what to do and where to go. I finally settled on one: a cruise. So in late September, I will be going on a 5 day cruise to Nassau, Bahamas with a stop over in Coco Cay. Now I know your first question is probably "Jason, how will you get your Thursday Krystals?" Well, considering Thursday will be day 4 of the cruise and our "Fun Day At Sea" day. (Thats cruise speak for, "Quit whining! We're not pulling over. Do I have to come back there? Stop hitting your sister!") I estimate being a thousand or more miles and a lot of water away from the nearest Krystal. For mere mortals this might present a huge problem. I am no mere mortal. I will find a solution. (Anyone got one of those foodsaver vacuum sealers I can borrow?) An ever bigger problem will be this blog. While you technically can get internet access at sea, you'd be an idiot to pay those rates of like $8 a minute or something. So this means you goofy little monkeys will just have to take a week off. I'm sure to return with great stories, and if my Krystal survives I am sure to have a few pictures of it overlooking a beautiful sunset on deck. Now where the real fun comes in is the lead up to the cruise: Would I need a passport? I read over the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) and realized my questions must not have been very frequent. The cruise website and almost every other site all said the rules would be changing January 1, 2007. They then went on to list the rules that come into effect next year. Well, I don't want the NEW rules, I want the OLD rules. After a long phone call, I found that I technically don't need a passport for my cruise. When the rules change and a passport will be required. I figured perhaps I would go ahead and get one now. I started by gathering information online on how to get a passport. It didnt take long to find the forms and prices. I can also apply at my local post office. How can this possibly be any fun? Well you have to approach it from my point of view: troublemaker. The passport form has an area "Other Names You Have Used" that has like 4 blanks in it. Who the heck has that many other names? Well obviously criminals, musicians, and actors. (And as we know, many times people fit all 3 categories). Since I was unsure what names they would allow, I decided to place a call. Let me start by saying "Homeland Security" people seem rather insecure and they absolutely lack a sense of humor. My first question was if that category meant my "alias." I was greeted with a long pause. Since that went nowhere I pushed forward. "Should I put my thug name J'Sin?" To that I got a firm "No." I then asked if I should use my rap names: DJ Jazzy Jase or Jam Master Jase or Sir Jase-A-Lot. The reply was a rather irritaed "NO." Lastly, I told them I was also known as "The Krystal Kid" and could I.... at which time I believe they hung up the phone. So much for that plan. Let this be a lesson to you: Often fun is fleeting so enjoy it while you can. Once it is time to go and actually apply, I must apply in person. I also have to have pictures. I will of course bring my Krystals Box to see if they can use that picture. Since I will be there in person (and thus arrestable) I will probably need to quit there, though I have contemplated bringing in a photo of an elderly black lady to see if they notice the problem. So, mark your calendar: Sept 25-29 I should be cruising the Bahamas. That is of course unless I am in jail. If I wind up going to jail, can someone bring me Krystals on Thursday, please?  |
