Monday, July 10, 2006

 

Hostile Workplace

As we all know I work for Middle GA Tech, and that places me firmly in Burgatory. Yes I know there's a Krystal 5 miles away, but that 5 miles is a war zone:
  • Road contruction (5 years to widen 3 miles? Ya gotta love DOT!)
  • Some of the heaviest traffic concentrations in WR
  • Lunatic Georgia drivers with Nascar dreams ("Rubbin's Racin'!")
I had high hopes that Krystal could place a restaurant just off campus in a former Waffle King, but then within 2 weeks of my idea, they started demo of that building to put in a CVS pharmacy (as if we need *another* drug store). So times are grim at work, my friends. But sadly, it gets worse.
There is a rather large student breakroom with many vending machines of all shapes and sizes over in C building, a short walk from where I am. One afternoon while looking in the frozen food vending machine at a tasty looking Nestle Crunch ice cream pop, I noticed something that scared the appetite out of me.
That's right! Nestled in the middle of a machine full of not-so-good-for-you-food is prepackaged evil! Once I had gotten over the shock and horror of what I had seen, I tried to figure out how on Earth this could happen. Here we are in the heart of Krystal Kountry and our state funded vending machines are dishing out vittles from the Albino Fortress!
How sad it is that our students are willing (or forced?) to shell out 75 cents per burger for frozen White Castles that they then must microwave before they can eat them. For that $1.50 if we have a Krystal next door you could get 3 hot, steamy and fresh burgers. Plus, bring your laptop and enjoy free Wi-Fi internet and avoid the draconian campus firewall that blocks things for unknown reasons. (Porn I can understand blocking, but blocking the Smithsonian? Blocking me from sites because they are "programming" web sites? Hello? I teach computer PROGRAMMING! Off topic, I know, just a personal gripe.)
I am at a loss for how to rid my campus of this barely edible vermin. I thought of buying them all and throwing them in the trash, but then that would signal to the vendors that "Students must love these lets stock twice as much!" I can't reach into the machine and extract them. (not that I tried, mind you.) I suspect taping a notice to the machine stating that "Buying WC burgers funds Iraqi Terrorists" might just get me unwanted attention from Homeland Security. I also checked and I am not allowed to flunk students for eating them. (Darn employee handbook!) I considered posting a notice on the machine saying "I licked one of the WC burgers and put it back. Ya feeling lucky today?" But somehow that just seems wrong.
So I am out of ideas. Any suggestions you have on how to get these Krystal Imposters out of my school, I welcome. The safety and security of our students depends on it!
Krystal Lovers like it steamy.

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# posted by JasonJ1052 @ 2:33 PM
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