Thursday, June 15, 2006
Krystal Kid Goes All The Way
| Years ago (1997-ish) had you been with me on Thursday you would have heard me order 'Number 1 with Cheese, all the way.' On more than a few occasions the people with me would ask 'What does that mean?' Well obviously the #1 is 4 Krystals, fries and a Coke. It's been that way for ages, and will probably be like that until the end of time. It is no surprise the 'Add Cheese' part turns my already tasty Krystals into the super tasty Cheese Krystals. The 'All the way' part is the mystic portion of the order. Honestly it only means 'Add Ketchup.' On occasion I would wonder why you would say 'All the way' when 'Add ketchup' was shorter. Well frankly it's because 'All the way' sounds cooler. It makes it sound like you know what you are doing. Occasionally 'All the Way' also implies cheese, but I'd rather not risk it. I gotta have that cheese! Back in the older days when the menu wasn't as crowded with delicious choices and before they had Combo Meals, you could just say 'Four Cheese, all the way.' Four Cheese was understood worldwide to mean: four cheese Krystals. Now, however, it might mean cheese pups or cheese chiks, it might even mean cheese fries. All great choices, but not what I had a hankerin for. Mind you, that was years ago. These days if you hear me order (and you can hear it for real in the 41 WMGT interview linked on the left side) I order '#1, add cheese add ketchup.' Again the #1 is 4 Krystals, and I add the cheese as before. But no longer do I say 'All the way.' Why is that, you ask? Well around 1997 I was at the Krystal on Pio Nono in Macon, where I had been lunching on Thursdays for about 2 years. I ordered my regular 'Number one, add cheese, all the way.' What I received changed my life forever. I do not know if someone was playing a cruel joke on me. Perhaps they had a new person on the register. Perhaps it was a new person on grill. Perhaps some evil demon had been unleashed from Hell. I do not know, but somehow Mayonnaise wound up on my beloved Krystals. I detest mayo. I think perhaps the only time I will willingly eat it is on a cold cut sandwich when someone else has already put the mayo on. I would rather rub my Krystal on my bare buttocks and eat it than add mayo. Why all of this hatred for Mayo? Well many years ago I actually saw someone make mayonnaise. They were so proud of their accomplishment and I was so repulsed. I think perhaps an autopsy would have been a more appetizing thing to watch. Now the real tough part at Krystal is Chiks come with Mayo automatically. I have to specially request they leave it off. I don't mind the pickle, but Mayo Gotta Go. Sadly 1 out of every 10 times I get Chiks the mayo is still there. If I am lucky enough to be close to home, I do a mayo-ectomy, add ketchup to cover up the revolting mistake and eat my chiks. Sadly, I have discovered the crime while driving somewhere around 70 miles per hour dodging tractor trailers on I-75. That is not the proper time to try and save a suffering chik. Rarely I have forced them down, but more often, I carefully put them back in the bag, read them their last rights, and dispose of them at my next stop. Poor little guys. So what have we learned from today's lesson? Get to know your Krystal cashier. Ensure they understand what 'All The Way' means (and what it does not mean). Start ordering your little steamers like a professional! In closing I have found 'all the way' to get very different results when applied to chili cheese pups. I have made attempts to implement my own terms such as 'fully loaded' or 'power pups' or 'mad dogs' even 'killer pups' but eventually I have to back down and list everything: ketchup, mustard, chili, cheese, onions. I often joke 'if it's not bolted down, put it on my pups.' If anyone has any suggested terms for getting your pups with absolutely everything, let me know. Perhaps this web page can do a service to the pup lovin public by defining a new term to ease ordering. And for a little inspiration, here's a tasty little pup to help you along:   |
Labels: Cheese, Chiks, Chili, Macon, Onions, Pups
