Saturday, August 12, 2006
The Krystal Smuggler
As you may recall I have booked a cruise in late Sept. This will be my first ever cruise, so obviously I'm filled with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. I did find this neat little gadget for when work gets to be a bummer: The message boards are constantly buzzing with people asking about bringing alcohol on board. Royal Caribbean strictly forbids bringing your own alcohol on board (with a few exceptions of rare wines). Frankly the alcohol issue doesn't bother me, its the fact that bringing your own food on board is also forbidden. So I follow the descriptions of the various methods people have used to smuggle alcohol in an attempt to formulate a plan to smuggle a Krystal on. Given recent events in England, security related to liquids has been tightened. Those restrictions are for the airlines, but the cruise lines are following suit. This means more hand searches of bags (checked and carry on) as well as more X-rays of baggage. And what does a Krystal X-ray look like, exactly? Actually they have a radiology tech program where I work and could probably get them to X-ray a Krystal for me, but then I would probably be handed over to the Psychology dept for study. I am going on the cruise with my friend Jennifer, who lives in Orlando. I have known Jennifer for years from when we were in school at Mercer. She's been on a cruise before so she's been giving me helpful advice. Since I will be staying at her place the weekend before we leave, we had to locate a Krystal where "the buy" could take place. Once again using the Krystal.com store locate we found there's a Krystal within sneezing distance from her, on the way to the port. So the current plan is to hit Krystal on the way to the port. I have also found out that my stateroom doesn't have a fridge or a safe. While my Krystal is valuable and probably should be locked up to keep other ravenous shipmates from eating it, a fridge would probably be a wise idea. So it seems I have a few options: keep it in the cooler with the ice for 4 days; let it sit (unrefridgerated) for 4 days, or give it to my stateroom attendant, wrapped in a $5 bill, for safe keeping til Thursday. None of these options sound appealing. While letting my stateroom attendant store it for me would be best for the Krystal, how do I know they won't eat it? After all, no one can resist the power of a Krystal. I am leaning towards keeping it in the room with me, hidden in a drawer (since we won't have a safe). How do I know Jennifer won't eat it when I'm not looking? She's assured me that if she's sunk to eating a 4 days old Krystal while on board a cruise ship with unlimited room service and top quality dining, that she's obviously had too much to drink and I should probably keep her away from the railings. I have also been looking into one of those Foodsaver vacuum sealers. I don't own one and apparently I dont know anyone willing to loan me theirs for this Krystal Adventure. I am contemplating buying one from Wal Mart and then returning it after the cruise, with their liberal return policy. If that works out, then Jennifer and I would have to hit Krystal on Sunday to give me time to seal my Krystal for travel. What all this is leading up to is this: there is a slim chance I might not get my Krystal fix on that Thursday. Now that won't be the first Thursday I have missed in 17 years. I've been "stranded" in burgatory on more than one occasion over the years. Usually I will "double up" the day before or have "make up krystals" immediately after I get back. So it's not a complete disaster if my Krystal does not survive the adventure, but it sure is fun to try! Sadly, Thursday is our "fun day at see" so I know I'll be enjoying the small, formerly steamy, Krystal on board the ship. I had hopes of the ports working out so I could enjoy my Krystal on a deserted island with a frosty fruity adult beverage, not unlike the frozen Cokes served at Krystal! (Has anyone ever added rum to their Krystal Frozen Coke?)  |
Labels: Mercer
