Thursday, July 20, 2006
Eating Lotsa Krystals
Often when people hear I am in the KLHOF they assume one of three things:
If you want to see someone eat a LOT of Krystals, venture on over to Krystal-lovers blog and check out Joey Chestnut as he goes for the 2 minute hamburger record. You can see my friend Kenny pop up in the video clip twice (watch for the white t-shirt and green pants.. wait for it!). You'll notice Kenny keeps his hands well away from Joey's "intake valve" lest he gets pulled in. Joey is the future of eating in the US. You may have seen him push Kobyashi in the Nathan's Hot Dog contest on July 4th. There's no way I'll ever rival that. I hear Joey "trained" for Nathan's by stuffing down 40 hot dogs, twice a week, for a few weeks leading up to the contest. While this may be good training for aa "eating spring" of a couple of minutes, for the "marathons" of 10+ minutes it might not work out so good. Rather than stuffing down huge numbers as fast as possible how about we change up the process: Lets call it "The Hour of Power." The basic idea is eat a Krystal every 5 minutes for an hour. You'll need 13 Krystals and a clock. (Yes I said 13 Krystals! Trust me, I have a math major.) Eat a Krystal, start the clock. Wait 5 minutes, eat another. Repeat. Now for the obligatory safety warning: Don't do this unless you know what you're doing (in other words this is NOT a game to play while drunk). If you feel really full or something hurts, stop. You will never live down the shame of being "that guy that ate so many Krystals he had to go to the hospital." I figure this new approach to eating will give the "classic" eaters something new to deal with. It is well known that your stomach's "I'm Full" signal is delayed by 10-20 minutes. By slowing down, it should become more of a mental than physical battle. Have I ever finished the hour of power? Nope. I tried to eat a sackful once about 4 years ago. I got through the first 6 in about 25-30 minutes. The final 6 took me another 2 hours. And I was miserable. But the Red Wings won the Stanley Cup that night so I didnt care. I suppose I could go into training and get up to 12 Krystals, but I'd rather just stick to my 4-6 cheesy yumsters and be happy. After all, I believe in quality, not quantity. In closing, yes I know there is a drinking game called the Hour of Power and it has similar rules. I won't explain them or link to them because frankly it's a dangerous game and I won't condone or assist binge drinking. The Hour of Power, if done incorrectly, has been shown to raise blood alcohol content to lethal levels. That means you die. Don't be stupid. |
Labels: Hockey
