The Adventures of Krystal Kid: So you can't seem to get enough of me?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

So you can't seem to get enough of me?

If you haven't been over to krystal.com lately, you should go. It's really quite an impressive site and it evolves a little bit more every day. While you are over there, check out 'Crystal' the virtual website hostess and tour guide. Click on her and she'll show you around. Now Crystal is certainly hot, and downright steamy, like a Krystal. While I cannot vouch for her buns being small or square, I will assume they aren't. Now as you watch Crystal you'll notice something: she's been 'digitally altered.' That's high tech plastic surgery. If you watch her arm's you'll see it. She's just way too darn skinny. Apparently I am not the only one to notice this. Over on krystal-lover.blogspot.com Tiffany has posted about this issue. She also says they're looking for a new virtual host/hostess. She has a link to submit a nomination for the KLHOF. I would like to officially throw my hat into the ring. (Not my Detroit Red Wings hat, another hat) The problem is, I am already in the KLHOF (obviously).
So now I have to find a way in. That's where you come in to the picture my friends. I need your help to be the next Krystal.com web host. Now don't rush off to email Tiffany, Jennifer, or Kenny. And lets not go assault the Krystal Web site or Krystal-Lover blog. Instead, for now, hop down to the comment button at the bottom of this post and add your recommendation for me as Krystal.com host. We know the folks from Krystal read this site, and I'll be sure they see all the posts. For those who get this blog delivered by e-mail, you're just going to have to drag yourself onto the web to submit a comment. No stuffing the ballot boxes! Let's be fair.
Now I am sure you are wondering what qualifications I have and why I should be the new host. Well, obviously I love Krystals. But that doesn't help, everyone loves Krystals. I am very good at pointing, which as a virtual host is an important skill. Since I work and teach computers for a living, I point (and click) like a billion times a day, easily. I have been told for years that I have a great radio voice. I am not 100% sure what that means, but I think it has to do with my excellent enunciation, and the fact I don't have much of an accent. I can, however, fake a southern or Canadian accent on demand, and even a southern Canadian accent if needed, y'all, eh? In fact I actually have been on the radio and some web broadcasts doing color commentary for hockey games.
Since I teach computers, I am good at explaining things, and demonstrating things, and helping people navigate their way around the screen. And I try to make it fun while you learn! What more do you want in a tour guide? OK, so maybe I'm not as hot and steamy at dear emaciated Crystal. I will now make my first campaign pledge. I promise you, my constituents, that starting tomorrow morning, I will begin the 'Virtual Tour Guide Training' program. I will get in shape and be hot and steamy like Crystal, without looking like I stopped eating in 1998.
I know I wont be able to get small enough to fit in Crystal's jeans, but I am sure I could fill her shoes. I was going to make a joke here about not being able to fit in Crystal's jeans, but still wanting to get in Crystal's jeans. My parents read this blog, though, so I opted not to say that. I am not 100% sure that you can't get slapped online, but I'd rather not find out.

So, Vote For Pedro! oops, I mean Vote For Jason!

What's that? You want to know what I did with my Thursday Krystals today? Well I am glad you asked.

Is that lettuce on those little cuties?

That's not just lettuce that's Romaine!

I had been thinking of lettuce on a Krystal for years, but Tiffany's post on Krystal-lovers made me decide it was long overdue. Just imagine, a hot steamy Krystal and cold crisp lettuce. Oh My Dear Lord! I'm in love all over again. Can it possibly get better? Well of course it can, just add some bacon. But we'll save that for later!
PS Blogger.com has been screwy the past 4 or 5 days. I had to re-post this four times. I hope you can get your comments in without the system eating them like a chili cheese pup! Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.