The Adventures of Krystal Kid: Burgatory Encroaches!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Burgatory Encroaches!

This past Thursday I had my usual batch of Krystals, but you may be wondering why no commentary on them. Did I put anything on them? Was there anything special?
Well my friends, I must admit it was hard to eat my Krystals. The only thing special added to them were my big elephant tears. You see, I saw something horrible at Krystal on Thursday and I have not yet come to grips with it.

Read this sign very closely my friends. This is serious. On the right we read that the dining room is now closed 6 hours a day. Yes I know the sign tells you when it is open, in an effort to put a positive spin on things. Also in hopes of distracting you from the left side of the sign.
On the left, you can see there are only 2 days the Krystal drive thru is now open 24 hours a day. During the week it is closed for 5 hours a night. Taken idividually this might not be shocking. But if you combine all the times together, you'll find that there are now 25 hours a week when you cannot get a Krystal. In the past there was only about 48 hours a year you couldn't get a Krystal (Thanksgiving and Christmas).
I understand the dining room being closed late at night. Sadly, society has gotten so screwed up that people are now robbing Krystal in the middle of the night, as happened in Warner Robins just south of Macon about 2 months ago. (I still have a free sack full reward out for information leading to the arrest and punishment of the scum bags who did that.)
Now, Krystal is not only closing and locking the doors late at night, but also closing and locking the window too. One of the rarest things in life is to see a Krystal with its lights turned off. Well that is no longer going to be an uncommon sight. Oh my dear friends, this can't be good.
The sign posts a number and web site for comments. I doubt they intended to make this appear they wanted comments on their new hours. And I doubt that my 2 minute message of wailing and sobbing and screaming was properly interpreted as a comment on the new hours. But I meant it. Every sniffle.
Now, I know the hours we're losing are the slowest of the week for Krystal, and the new hours are not at ALL restaurants. It's just knowing that now 'When ya gotta have a Krystal' you now have to check your watch. I am a bit too old for my late night college runs to Krystal. I don't hit too many late night concerts and need a Krystal fix on the drive home. Most hockey games I go to are done in time to just sqeak in under the 1am Krystal Kurfew. But now in the back of my mind, there will always be that little voice, telling me how many hours and minutes I have until Krystal closes.

I don't need that kind of pressure!

I can already see me in the near future, late at night: cold wet nose pressed to the glass, staring in at the cold fryer, the still and lifeless griddles, and the darkened empty dining room. Oh please, someone, wake me from this nightmare! Krystal Lovers like it steamy.