Y'all be goin' on vacation? Peep Delta!

On Thursday morning I'll be flying out of Wilmington to Panama City Beach via Atlanta. I am flying on Delta. I have no particular loyalty to Delta. It's just coincidence that they're base dout of Atlanta where I grew up. It probably has more to with with the fact that there are only 3 airlines flying out of Wilmington: Delta, Allegiant Air, and US Airways. Whenever I do have a flight on Delta, always thinking back to this. (Jarrett knows what's coming.) If the video above does not play click here.I've actually had the sound clip since Sept. 1999. (Yes, I just checked the file date.) With the evolution of YouTube the "video" was added, introducing it to a new audience. The clip in and of itself is funny. I must have listened to it 8 or 10 times a day this past week getting ready for my flight. But much like the old days in the office, you can't listen to the Delta clip without eventually someone bringing up the classic: If the video above doesn't play click here.Ah yes, it is the classic scene of the "Black Dudes" from the movie Airplane!. There are many many MANY great quotes from that movie, these are among my favorite. However you really don't get the whole story with the clip above. Nor will you get it by reading the Airplane Script posted online. To understand why you're missing out you need to understand the difference between "Closed Captioning" and "Subtitles." In a nutshell, Closed Caption is for hearing impared people and is supposed to display EXACTLY what people say out loud. Subtitles display stuff that is hard to understand either from foreign languages, difficult accents, or quiet dialog. In the clip above you are shown subtitles. They are very funny. You can also HEAR what they are saying. Also very funny. But here, and ONLY here at Krystal Adventures, I will provide for you the FULL experience of the scene from the movie. Not even IMDB will give you this. After you have played the clip above a few times and wiped the tears of laughter from your eyes, play it one more time and scan the tables below. In the first two tables, the left column shows what is displayed in the Captions (supposedly what the characters are saying). The right column is what the subtitles say the characters mean, the "Jive Translation." The third scene had no subtitles so I simply have the closed caption for the four characters involved. Scene One Closed Captioning Subtitle Shi’, that honky mo’ fo’ mess wi’ my ol’ lady Golly that white fellow should stay away from my wife… Got to be runnin’ cold upside down his head, you know? Or I will punch him. He aint gonna lay no more pig rap off on you Yes, he his wrong for doing that. I say, ‘ey t’ this guy. Somthin’ t’ say? I knew a man in a similar predicament… Pray to J, I did the same-ol’-same-ol’ And he ended up being sorry Mack yourself a pro, slick. Don’t be so naïve, Arthur Lot of performers down, not take t.c.b.in’ Each of us faces a clear moral choice Hey, you know what they say— See a broad that get all booty-eyed… Early to bed early to rise Lay her down and smack-‘em-yack-‘em Makes a man healthy wealthy, and wise Ho! Got to be, you know? How True! Shit! Golly Scene Two Closed Captioning Subtitle Bet, Babe. Slide a piece of the porter. Drinks, I run the java. I would like the steak please. Lookee here I can dig the grease and chompin’ on some buns And dragging through the garden I’ll have the fish. Scene Three Stewardess: Can I get you something? Cuddy: This mo’ fo’ butta layin’ me to the bones. Jackin’ me up. Ta’ me? Stewardess: I’m sorry, I don’t understand Arthur: Cuddy say he can’t hang. Jane: Oh, stewardess, I speak jive Stewardess: Oh good Jane: He says he’s in great pain. And can you help him Stewardess: Tell him to relax. I’ll be back with some medicine. Jane: Just hang loose blood. She’ll catch up on the rebound on the medicine. Cuddy: Big mama I dug her rap. Jane: Cut me some slack, Jack Chump don’t want no help chump don’t get the help. Jive ass dude don’t got no brains anyhow. Please feel free to use these phrases as often as possible. For example we actually used to work with/for someone named "Art" (Arthur) so we would routinely say "Mack yourself a pro, slick!" Which the translation above tells us mean "Don’t be so naïve, Arthur!" of course the fact he had no clue what we were saying made it that much more fun. And just remember... See a broad that get all booty eyed, lay her down and smack-'em -yack-'em! (My apologies if Blogger tears up the formatting on the tables. And since Blogger's spell check gave up in frustration on the Ebonics in this post, I gave up on it as well.)<