Sunday, September 07, 2008

Duh-TV transition

Have you heard anything about the "Digital Television Transition" thing? You may THINK you have, but you haven't heard anything yet. Sure there's the occasional commercials on TV about the switch coming in February, and you look and nod, and go about your day. Trust me. You haven't seen ANYTHING yet. How do I know?Wilmington, NC was chosen as the guinea pig.
On Monday afternoon, Wilmington officially flips the switch to DTV 4 months before the rest of the world. Since the decision was made things have been a mad house around here, and getting worse. If you check the dates for the two article links you'll see they are dated 4 months ago.
For the past 4 months, Wilmingtonians have been pummelled, battered, ad brutalized about this transition. And it gets progressively more intense every day. Now every commercial break has at least 1 mention of it. Every news broadcast has 2-5 minutes set aside to talk about it. There are 3 different 30 minute "shows" on the cable and gov't access channels talking about it. Your cable bill MUST include notices about the transition until March. I don't read the local paper but can only assume it's hock full of DTV stuff, too. Trust me, you haven't experienced the DTV Transition yet.
Once the assault begins, you to will get just as fed up as those of us in Wilmington. More time, money, and effort has been spent on this transition than the Y2K problem. (Which incidentally was a bigger problem yet went off without a hitch.) The one thing that keeps coming through loud and clear out of all of this is:
Your government thinks you are stupid, and wants you to depend on the government for everything.
If they'd let me handle this they wouldn't need a 30 minute infomercial, nor would they need to take time away from Deal or No Deal and waste it on explaining the DTV Transition.
Step 1) Hold up the end of a Coax cable TV cable and say "If this goes into the back of all your TVs, then you're fine. Have a nice day. Turn the channel."
Step 2) Hold up a satellite dish and say "If you have one of these in your yard, you're OK. Have a nice day. Turn the channel now."
Step 3) Say "If your TVs all get more than 10 channels, you're not going to be affected. Have a nice day. Change the channel."
Step 4) Those that are left will have an issue. You then display the phone number, web address, and mailing address for them to get their free $20 converter box coupons (AKA suckle at the teat of the great government cow.)
While we're on the topic of how the government and FCC can screw this up more than a 4 year old, lets address their choice of time and location.
Wilmington makes a decent choice in that a huge percentage of the population has cable or the dish. (Tells you something about the local channels doesn't it?) So the DTV Transition will supposedly directly affect few people.
The time of year, roughly 4 months before the rest of the world, seems valid.
The problem is, if you'll watch the weather channel, read history books (or my last post), or LIVE HERE, you'd know. We have things called HURRICANES. They tend to hit in SEPTEMBER. They often KNOCK OUT POWER (and thus cable, satellite, and the DTV converter boxes, since they do not make any that run on batteries). And people often DEPEND on TV hooked to a generator or battery power to get important news on the weather and evacuation orders. These battery powered TVs WILL NOT WORK after the transition unless you ALSO hook the DTV converter box to your generator.
Why on Earth didn't they either pick a different city, not affected by predictable weather issues? Or pick a different time of year to do this in Wilmington (AKA Hurricane Punching Bag, USA)? I can only assume the decision was made by people that have already been convinced by the government that they are stupid.
One of the issues that is very subtle, and only came to light when I recently talked to people who had not been beaten to death by the DTV onslaught (since they live elsewhere) was the name: DTV.
Cable TV and DirectTV are loving this. The average Joe hears that we MUST switch to "DTV" and they're out there buying HDTVs, and signing up for the dish (DirectTV markets itself as DTV) and cable, who are gladly pushing the fact that they "already have HDTV." I wish someone would investigate and see if there were any kick backs involved between the cable and dish companies as well as the companies making HDTVs to the officials in charge to name this whole mess "DTV."
Had they named this "SuperTV" or STV there wouldn't be any confusion. Or heck to go with the latest trend in pointless abbreviations, lets call it "Extreme Television" or XTV. (Of course then the porn industry would probably sue.)
I am not upset about the transition at all. I understand why it is being done. Heck after roughly 45 hours of public service ads over the past 4 months, I probably know entirely too much about the transition. My concern is the method they have used to inform the public. If they had sat down around a table and said "How can we make this messy and confusing?" I think they've done a good job.
Well I have had cable since I was in college. So I know I'll be OK. My internet runs through my cable connection, so no chance in me switching that any time soon. However, for the benefit of those who live outside ground zero, I have been working on my own public service announcement. I won't be home at noon tomorrow when they flip the switch. I'll be working. I can only pray that when they do flip the switch it doesn't take out the entire city.
I will however, be recording the event. In one room will be a DVR recording the event on cable TV, which shouldn't even flicker. In another room I'll be recording on a TV with bunny ears. I haven't yet decided WHICH channel to actually record yet, since I don't watch much local TV. (I do live in Wilmington, where everyone watched TV from somewhere else.) Maybe once I get them taped I will see if I can find a way to get the two feeds "stitched together" into one video so you can see the actual transition side by side. I'm not in any kind of rush though since it's 4 months til the rest of the world goes through this. By then the DTV subliminal "Take your Soma" messages should have taken their toll, and I will be as docile and compliant as a kitten.
Krystal Lovers get more in the sack!.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous10:15 AM

    Jason,

    This is an excellent post. Thanks for writing.

    I contribute to a website of critical perspectives about the DTV transition -- dtvredalert.org -- and we'll be sure to link to your post and quote you on our website's blog.

    --
    Mitchell Szczepanczyk
    http://www.dtvredalert.org
    http://www.chicagomediaaction.org

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