What's new... plus a cat

My brother and sister in law tend to have an eclectic taste in music. Among Amy's favorites is Tom Jones. Recently, my brother bought her a Tom Jones CD and it went into heavy rotation in the van. As you may know, no one can resist the velvety smooth voice of Tom Jones. It wasn't long until the youngest nephew joined right in. Sort of. Phillip's favorite song is now "What's new, plus a cat!" Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming Tom Jones to the stage! You know the words, so sing along, everybody. You know you want to! If the video above doesn't work, click hereI find it quite interesting that with his slight change to the lyrics, young "P-diddy" had completely removed all of the sexual innuendo from the song. This is of course a good thing, since he's 3. Plus already such a lady's man, if he got any more studly (or learned that Tom Jones hip wiggle trick), all the little girls in preschool would be throwing their diapers on stage, and trying to share a mat with him during nap time. Yes, ladies, he did have "Two hams on that burger!"Why is this important? Well last week I got to spend 4 or 5 days up in Washington. My brother and his family were preparing for an extended stay on the other side of the world courtesy of the US Army. Since I am the Great White Sherpa, I was recruited to help manage the bags. Since this was my first real experience in dealing with US Army travel planning, it was an eye opening experience. The phrase "hurry up and wait" really does come in to play. I am a great sitter. I can wait better than most, however I think I pulled a waiting muscle, I had to wait so hard. Sheesh. But on Wednesday, things began to move very quickly. Foreign bound luggage and people in one vehicle. Those people and bags not going are loaded into another vehicle. Drive to Dulles and pull up to the front. Rip open the doors and start piling people and bags on the curb, trying to remember not to put bags on top of people. At this point the Rent-A-Sherpa arrives with his big cart and funny accent. I didn't feel at all upset that there was a potential Sherpa Showdown. He had the super cool cart, and there was over 700 pounds of luggage, divided into 49 pound suitcases. (The limit is 50 pounds on international flights.) While the Rent-A-Sherpa did somehow manage to get my brother and all of his luggage right up to the front of the line at the check in counter, that is all he could do. He unloaded the bags there and went back to the curb. Suddenly I was the number one Sherpa-In-Town. As I left to go flag down my parents who'd gone to park the cars, I am quite certain I heard my brother tell the lady at the counter: Two adults Three Kids Fourteen suitcases ... Plus a Cat I was unable to hear if she'd asked him "What's new?" or if the Indian ladies in the other line sang the chorus "Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa!" But let's just assume they did. Due to the "new and improved" baggage handling at airports, you are now in charge of moving your own bags from the check in where you get the sticky tags over to conveyor belt where they get taken eventually to the plane. In Dulles that was a distance of roughly 100-150 feet. Since the Rent-A-Sherpa was already back at the curb with his super cool cart, my brother raised his fist in the air and exclaimed "Go, Sherpa! Go!!" My days of pent up Sherpa Power ripped loose as I was began grabbing and tossing bags and children (most of them belonging to my brother, some of them probably not) towards the conveyor belt. Had Amy not been holding tight to the Kitty Karrier, the cat would have been launched as well.Eventually all of the bags were on their way and it was again time to wait really REALLY hard.With my luggage tossing duty behind me I felt my "Sherpa-Rage" fading as the bittersweet sounds of "The Lonely Man" played in the background. If you don't recognize the song or it's meaning, you're just too young and it will never have the proper meaning for you.Let's not tell Amy (or Phillip) that Tom Jones was just south of here in Myrtle Beach a few months back at the new Hard Rock Park. And yes he did sing "What's New, Plus a Cat," and yes there were panties thrown on stage. And given the average age of a Tom Jones crowd these days, that just gives me the heebee jeebees.