Knock Knock? Who's There? Banana!!!

While out doing some shopping, Courtney and I stopped off the get the stuff needed to bake a cheesecake. (It's sort of a given that I'm baking a cheesecake when I go visit.) While picking up the required materials, Courtney also picked up some bananas for Sean. Sean loves bananas. Courtney loves bananas. I love bananas. No post related to bananas should ever begin without the classic cover of The Banana Splits Theme by my all time favorite punk band, The Dickies. (Yes, I was in to punk from about 1986-89.) Click here if the video won't play above.Be sure and check out their covers of Paranoid and Night in White Satin, too! I wore out my old Dickies cassettes many years ago and haven't rebuilt my CD collection. Anyway, Courtney picked up four bananas. There are no bananas called for in my cheesecake recipe. At least not the one I was making. I do have a yummy banana and chocolate cheesecake recipe though. Sean is only allowed one banana a day, so I knew someone would have to "dispose" of some bananas before the weekend was up and the bananas went bad. In hind sight, I think Courtney knew I would count the bananas and hatch a plan, so she intentionally bought extras. While Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork didn't show up to help, we still made up a mess of fun and it was lots of fun for everyone! (Tra-la -la!) When I came up with my idea of mixing the two latest MilkQuakes, Banana Pudding and Peanut Butter, nine out of ten people would wrinkle their noses and say "Ewww!" when I mentioned it. OK, so we all know I come up with plenty of "ewww" ideas, but this one was so absolutely normal. When I would dig deeper, I discovered that there are LOTS of people who have never had a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Poor, poor, sheltered childhoods! The first time I made my chocolate and banana cheesecake I also discovered there are a lot of people who simply don't like bananas. (I also discovered I had a friend with a nut allergy. EEK!) I freely admit I don't eat "banana flavored" stuff like candy, or drinks. But I'm up for anything made with real bananas. So with that in mind, so for the next few days: Two Banana, four banana, one banana, three Swinging like a bunch of monkeys hanging from a tree Hey there everybody won't you come along and see How much like Banana Splits everyone can be First of all lets discuss the proper purchase of the bananas. When you choose your bananas, keep in mind they won't last more than a few days before they reach "yucky stage." While "yucky stage" is good for making banana bread and chocolate banana cheesecakes (I mash the bananas by hand) most of the time it's not very good for regular ripe banana eating. So go for slightly firm under ripe bananas unless you intend to eat them that day. You'll get more mileage out of them. I think the Chiquita Banana lady says it best: Click here if the video above won't playAlso when you choose your bananas, make sure they have the sticker on them. No, it's not a law or anything like that, just trust me, you want the sticker. When I buy bananas, since I know I can't eat and entire bunch of 8 or 10 bananas before they go bad, I will divide a bunch. No one has ever told me that's a produce crime, so I'll find the best half bunch. If the sticker is on the other half, I'll move it to my half. (It IS cheating however to move a sticker from another bunch to your bunch, and double cheating if you add MORE stickers to your bunch that the number you found it with.) Why do you need the sticker, you ask? Well obviously it's to stick on the end of your nose while you eat your bananas!I have been putting the banana sticker on my nose as long as I can remember. Occasionally arguments would break out between my brother and I over the sticker. That's one of the best things about living alone: you ALWAYS get the banana sticker! Usually at some point I'll belt out a verse of the Chiquita Banana song, too! You have to keep the sticker on your nose til you're done with your banana though. And if you forget to take it off your nose, I find that people will stare at you but no one will point it out to you. (They're probably just jealous that you got the banana sticker.) Now that you have your bananas home, how do you peel them? Well most people will say "From the top." They are right, but the funny thing is, the only reason they are "right" is because they are "wrong" twice. Have you ever seen bananas growing? Most people haven't. They've only seen them after they have been harvested. So most people don't know which end is REALLY the top:The stem is the bottom of the banana! I know it seems upside down, but it's true. Us crazy consumers have been convinced that the stem goes up, and this is reinforced by crazy contraptions like this. So now that you have your top up and your bottom down, I bet you're confused, right? How do you peel THAT end? It's simple. Hand a banana to a monkey and watch. Or just take my word for it. Pinch the end of the banana slightly. It takes practice to pinch without overly bruising the banana. You may have to pinch twice, once in each direction.Eventually you'll get the hang of it. The pinch will separate the peel so you can easily unwrap your tasty treat! And the stem makes a nice handle, sort of like a popsicle. Cleanup will be a breeze, too. I have been told that peeling your banana this way also reduces the amount of "strings" you have to deal with since you're peeling back against the direction the banana grows. I haven't really noticed this, but then I'm not all hung up on the whole "string" issue. I'm just not THAT picky about my tropical fruit. If you intend to eat the banana "Monkey Style" then you're all set. But if you're going to be making something with your banana, then you may need to slice it. your first decision is to slice it in "steaks" or "fillets." (Yes these are seafood terms, but work with me here.) A "Fillet Cut" goes from top to bottom. A "Steak cut" goes across. In fish mongering we say a fillet goes from head to tail, parallel to the spine, and a steak cut is perpendicular to the spine. Bananas don't have a spine, so that really wouldn't have made much sense would it? For today, lets cut banana steaks. A trick someone once showed me for cutting a banana was to peel it completely except on strip. That strip shouldn't be on the inside or outside of the curve of the banana.You then lay the banana down on the counter with the peel down. The peel then becomes your "cutting board."I showed this trick to my mother once and her reply was simple. "Why don't you just do this?" She then picked up the banana in one hand, the knife in the other. She turned the knife so the blade faced up toward her thumb, and using a "scissor" motion, sliced the banana steaks right into her cereal. Hmm. So maybe my good trick wasn't really such a good trick. Hers was faster and a whole lot easier.Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la