o/~ Riding on the Metro o/~

I grew up just outside of Atlanta. While I certainly enjoyed Berlin's video (above), I was completely baffled by their interpretation of mass transit. Back in the 80's MARTA was a fairly safe, clean, and easy mode of transportation. It didn't come close to the trash tornado, hooker on the tracks, gun toting gay soldier type of mass transit in the video. But since that video, like most every other 1980's video, made no sense, I never really worried about it. Over the years, I've ridden MARTA countless times, especially to get to the convention every year. I have also ridden Chattanooga and Buffalo's mass transit. Of the three Buffalo's was the easiest since it only went East-West (or was it North/South?) When I got to DC and Heidi and I were making plans to go to the Mall, we decided to ride the Metro in so we wouldn't have to hassle of downtown traffic and parking. On their web site you can a really cool map of the Metro overlaid on a Google Map of DC. Zoom in!! All I can say is that the Metro was an eye opening experience. It wasn't because of the Berlin-esque architecture: To ride the Metro, you obviously have to pay a fare. In the old days of MARTA you bought a MARTA Token. I was saddened to find that tokens have been phased out and they now use paper tickets with mag-stripes on them. On the other hand the three or 4 MARTA tokens I still have may be worth some money on EBAY some day. Then again, some guy in Atlanta got arrested a few years back for selling a MARTA token at face value to another rider when the MARTA change machine was broken. Heidi flashes her farepassShall we compare MARTA to the Metro? Yes, lets! If you follow this link you'll clearly see the fare to ride MARTA. It's a buck seventy five. Doesn't matter where you start or where you stop. Heck you could technically ride all day long as long as you don't actually leave the rail system. Transfer to other routes all you like.To find your fare for the Metro you will need a slide rule, a protractor, a sextant, a physicist, a witch doctor, and a bottle of Advil. Thank goodness I had Heidi. And Time. And Patience. Click here to play along at home! First you find which station you are leaving from on the map, so you know which color "Line" you are on. We were Dunn-Loring on the far left, orange. (More on that in a second.) Next you look through the massive list of other stations to find where you are going. Thankfully our destination was also on Orange, the Smithsonian. Finally you get your fare. Almost. Here's what you'll find: Departing Dunn Loring-Merrifield Arriving Reduced Regular Senior/disabled Miles Travel fare fare fare time Smithsonian $ 2.35 $ 3.80 $ 1.90 11.85 30 min. Apparently during certain times of day, you can get a "reduced" rate. Those times are listed somewhere else on the vending machine. (We qualified going in to DC but not coming back out.) Finally we knew the price. Next step is to set the price on the machine. One switch will increment or decrement the dollar amount and another switch will increase or decrease the cents (by 5's). Since our fare was $2.35 it should be easy right? Well, no, since the machine STARTS at $20!! That's 18 dollar downs, 7 cents ups, for 25 pushes. For Heidi. I had to do this myself in a second. Once the price is set, you then put in your money. Admittedly I was ready to do the debit card and move on, but Heidi had some $1's and I had some change so we figured it out. Then did the same thing for my ticket. Finally you get your farepass and put it into the gate to let you into the terminal. We ride the 30 minutes to the Smithsonian terminal and have to again put our farepass in the gate to let us out. That's so you wont buy the cheapest ticket and then ride all the way to the end. Sadly the second gate keeps your farepass, so no keepsake of your time "Riding on the Metro." And yes, we went through the same thing on the ride back. How does MARTA work? Everything is $1.75. Who cares where you start or end? Put your money in, get a farepass. Put the pass in the gate, walk through, catch your train. At your destination, just walk out and go on your way. At first I felt this clearly demonstrated just how simply life in Atlanta is. MARTA really only has 2 lines. (Don't let the goofy north line and northwest lines fool you.) DC has like 5 lines. Maybe that justifies the insane fare process. But in hindsight I realize the problem. This is DC, where politicians are born and raised. Anytime you allow politicians to create something you get things like the DC Metro. What has 535 heads, 1070 legs, and does nothing? Congress. What has 3 or more heads and no brain? A committee.