T minus 3 hours (T is for turducken)

Today is Turducken Day. I woke up early to clean up the kitchen a bit. Since I don't have much storage room in my kichen I use the Harris Teeter down the road as my pantry. So I zipped down there quick to gather the remaining supplies. I avoided the draw of the fresh made donuts. There shall be no eating today until the turducken is turdone!Let's take stock for a moment. Defrosted turducken, CHECK. awesome thermometer with probe, CHECK. Apron with my name on it, CHECK. Cold adult beverage (jumbo size), CHECK. Pan with baking rack, CHECK. Now that we're ready it's time to prep the turducken.Note how the temperature probe has been rammed deep into the insides of the turducken. No bones makes probe placement easy. And since the stuffing and cajun seasoning are already in place the time from the fridge to the oven was roughly 3 minutes. Including the time it took to pose for a picture or two. Sadly, the church across the street is having a barbecue and the sign that's been up all week claims it's the best barbeque ever. Since it's a church making the claim, I am apt to believe them. As good as holy pork may be today, I think I am going to stick with my triple layers of poultry. At $6 for a plate of barbecue "with all the fixins" I wonder if they're really gonna have it as good as me. I have fixins myself.The turducken box says 3 hours, but my oven is insane and I never trust it. Thus the reason why I have my supercool thermometer. So I figure I have 2:30 to 3:30 til it's time to remove the turducken. Sip some Smirnoff. The crescent rolls go in just as the turducken comes out, and they cook while the turducken rests. Sip some Smirnoff. The peas go on the stove on a low simmer. Sip some Smirnoff. Cranberry sauce out, sliced, and placed in a bowl. Sip some Smirnoff. Carve the turducken and plate up. Sip some Smirnoff. Just as I sit down to eat, the apple dumplings go into the oven as they take almost 30 minutes to cook. If I am out of Smirnoff by then, I have chilled white grape juice (aka extremely young wine) to go with my meal. Now that you know my plans for the afternoon, there's no need for you to check back for a recap this evening. I intend to eat turducken until I pass out or get too full to move. Either way I will be unable to post any more today. Tomorrow is going to be a game time decision. It depends on the leftovers.