Excuse me, sir, what is this?

Yesterday I showed you how my school's north campus (where my office is) has a plethora of poultry. Lots of geese and a few ducks. We also have swans around the corner. With all of this white meat around and Thanksgiving approaching, what's a carnivore to do? Well actually the answer is easy. Turducken! Here is a transcript from a phone call I made earlier this week: Hello? Hey, dad, is Jason. Well hey, J! What's up? What do y'all think about Turducken for Thanksgiving? Hold on, let me ask your mother. (long pause) Son, we pass. OK, just checking. The next sound you hear, after I hang up the phone, is me giggling as I run around my place squealing "More for me! More for me!!" Ah yes, good old Harris Teeter around the corner is having a Turducken Sale. This sales ad will likely expire in 7 days. I have never actually had turducken, but have had very vivid dreams of it off and on for perhaps 10 years. I still remember the first time I heard of it. I was watching an interview with the founder of Amazon.com, Jeff Bezos and during the interview it was mentioned that Amazon.com was the world's largest supplier of Turducken. Mr. Bezos chuckled briefly before he explained that eventually you will be able to find "everything" on Amazon.com. Turducken was just the first step. I didn't get mine from Amazon.com, because buying frozen meat from a web site seems too strange to me. Harris Teeters had a choice of a "full" turducken with the "legs" and "wings" still attached, or just the "breast." Both are made by Cajun Specialty Meats. While you're browsing their web site, try and figure out where these "Cajuns" are from. The packaging has such pretty pictures and stories of life on the bayou in Louisiana. The only thing that gives you an idea of where they actually are is a zip code: 32502. That is NOT in Louisiana. Since it is becoming clear I may be the only one to eat this, I went with the 4 pound breast only. Who knows how long the leftovers will last? And will it be good in a sandwich? Since today is Thursday I ate some Krystals to clear some space in the freezer for my Turducken. Early tomorrow morning it comes out of the freezer for the 36 hour thaw.When people find out how much I paid for a 4 pound Turducken they seem utterly shocked and ask why on Earth it is so expensive. There's a 15 minute long video on this web page that shows the entire process of making a full sized turducken. Vegans (Andrea) and those with a weak stomach should not watch! Be aware the movie starts slow but gets moving after a little while. Once you have watched it, you'll understand why I think the prices at Harry T's are a steal! You also have to keep in mind there's really no bones so you get more for your money than a regular turkey, AND stuffing is included. The box also has a wonderful turducken gravy recipe on the side, too. The duck is notorious for realing a of "juice" (fat). You'll see what I mean in the video. In fact you're advised to check every so often to make sure the drippings don't rise so high the bottom of the turducken is braising in the juice instead of roasting. Duck fat ranks right up there with pork fat as one of the greatest flavors on Earth according to most chefs. Cooking should be straight forward. The package says about 3 hours, but I have learned from my years of Turducken research that you should never EVER go by the clock when cooking turducken. You need to go by temperature. Luckily I have the second greatest thermometer on Earth. One of those with the probe you ram deep into the meat. And with turducken being boneless you don't have to worry about the bones when you prosition the probe. Then you run the cord out of the oven and up to the base unit that will track time (counting up and down) as well as internal temperature. It will either beep or talk, even reminding me to baste. (You don't baste turducken. The duck fat makes it self basting.) I say I have the second greatest thermometer because Chris has one that's wireless. He can wear the timer/beeper on his belt as he wanders around. I'm a bit jealous. As I was checking out of Harris Teeter's I only had a few items including my turducken and cranberry sauce. The cashier looked long and hard at the turducken box and then at me and asked "Excuse me, sir, what is this?" Rather than the long explaination of turducken that many people simply don't believe, I just told him it was turkey, duck, chicken and stuffing all in one box. That seemed to satisfy him. But not nearly as much as this tasty bundle of juicy joy is going to satisfy me on Saturday. Obviously, pictures and descriptions will follow after I sleep off my turkey induced coma.